tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56401563038273386092024-02-06T19:20:10.008-08:00IdyllbeastIdyllwild Town Crierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05862864135128671031noreply@blogger.comBlogger137125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-49550338430986243312021-10-14T11:09:00.002-07:002021-12-30T19:01:31.323-08:00Breakthrough!<p style="text-align: justify;"><span> </span>This week the Idyll-Beast Research Center was granted access to a cache of evidence of staggering breadth and quality. An officer of a corporation known as <a href="https://www.kkcostudio.com" target="_blank">KKCo</a> sent us a link to a drop box account which held a tranche of randomly numbered files. Although our cyber team is still trying to reconstruct the provinance and sequence of the images encrypted therein, preliminary examination points to their authenticity. Certainly they are of of a professionalism rarely seen in our field. Although we are unable to identify the Researcher depicted, or the photographer, these images seem destined to set a high bar for future cryptozoologists.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> </span>Steve and I did have a brief encounter this summer with a team of "fashionistas" here in Idyllwild for a combination photo shoot/cryoto-hominid search. We are big fans of crossover projects and genre bending, so we did all we could to help the intrepid investigators. Maps, literature, advice about camp sites... things many visitors seek at the local Ranger Station, are also available at Steve's "Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe," also know as "the Cave," "Bubba's Books," or "the Hot Corner." Our guest seems to have made herself right at home. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaNpCccQfU_6A-5gbkN3trxnyJ69ZnAO5f72qpJ6dac4vLGw-xLp934cHI1O9MkfoqE32S6C0qag-lSOwL8ysOw3bRdKtnSsqKGeLOXE-AnaTnakD3H2Sg85rChJ_9thgz2aq8TQuYjXU/s2048/model+at+the+Research+Center.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaNpCccQfU_6A-5gbkN3trxnyJ69ZnAO5f72qpJ6dac4vLGw-xLp934cHI1O9MkfoqE32S6C0qag-lSOwL8ysOw3bRdKtnSsqKGeLOXE-AnaTnakD3H2Sg85rChJ_9thgz2aq8TQuYjXU/s320/model+at+the+Research+Center.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Q6vSgRegvrHlVmhNojmGvshnheVgTeSlhAedzQPp1mzO71TUuA_m4EOC22Rr2x5Sc9G2IFDw-4ozLBGf75uMcmoYY4DCGxTcNZKgJh616zvKeUDb78DgyeONNZZOOdiK6CoT2x4Zfnc/s2048/inside+the+shop.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Q6vSgRegvrHlVmhNojmGvshnheVgTeSlhAedzQPp1mzO71TUuA_m4EOC22Rr2x5Sc9G2IFDw-4ozLBGf75uMcmoYY4DCGxTcNZKgJh616zvKeUDb78DgyeONNZZOOdiK6CoT2x4Zfnc/s320/inside+the+shop.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JqhmJmaD8DEILfFnQUXB3u6gYWE25ahQbQromoEQkjRDErO-Va4Uoldl8qSFpBpbWiZDF6xsQa8PCUrPmekCQLx67Gbmbe1bHK0CAsNTzgO0M3_U6t6KHfZ9X_et7kfaVNZZm2ctk7Q/s2048/In+Steve%2527s+shop.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6JqhmJmaD8DEILfFnQUXB3u6gYWE25ahQbQromoEQkjRDErO-Va4Uoldl8qSFpBpbWiZDF6xsQa8PCUrPmekCQLx67Gbmbe1bHK0CAsNTzgO0M3_U6t6KHfZ9X_et7kfaVNZZm2ctk7Q/s320/In+Steve%2527s+shop.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> </span>The images show off a dazzling array of fine outdoor attire in often startling combinations. An undetermined location for a campsite is chosen, and a tent is pitched. Here is where the confusion over sequence makes establishing a time line difficult. Without time stamps we can't be sure in which order these images were taken, but have done our best to reconstruct a plausible narrative .</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqzRE4pu9IDrkCm8bQrZD3l143ZIxO9RYvLBTgtFZkAu1Lp2CpDi2b1Z2RNuL0KygwT99v-wzNgNh3_6tKoZgKq72QLhAmOpQbvacj75V7cQS1NUnJnNticadUEuAR-HcyUVcsB65tEM/s2048/wait%252C+he+is+back+there%2521.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqzRE4pu9IDrkCm8bQrZD3l143ZIxO9RYvLBTgtFZkAu1Lp2CpDi2b1Z2RNuL0KygwT99v-wzNgNh3_6tKoZgKq72QLhAmOpQbvacj75V7cQS1NUnJnNticadUEuAR-HcyUVcsB65tEM/s320/wait%252C+he+is+back+there%2521.jpeg" width="213" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKBBprsSeHJovFgZPnbuYEoro0Dc3p-60tzs5supWSoX7s6KUd9LL0oxcDmnhLjTatOR5GU5Z5C85Pz1Xd8_5Z4vvqLcVspAWJ5X_LRA-wpuPfEXhro5TsCU3eK42SEMbcb5oelBZQLd8/s2048/idy+behind+tent+set+up.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKBBprsSeHJovFgZPnbuYEoro0Dc3p-60tzs5supWSoX7s6KUd9LL0oxcDmnhLjTatOR5GU5Z5C85Pz1Xd8_5Z4vvqLcVspAWJ5X_LRA-wpuPfEXhro5TsCU3eK42SEMbcb5oelBZQLd8/s320/idy+behind+tent+set+up.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihEQ3AhI8Kn4-CMtCl-VX_kEpwoutN-yKR-DERBs0xaMakR9vHgL1dCCJPkjb3gqFswmTo3zWTHgMmCjKsoWdgWkV15uG5EpzD30VuWJ4BlKvP5FyHZHZSk9koU8ItQLoEU8SadN8MUMY/s2048/idy+observres+tent+raising.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihEQ3AhI8Kn4-CMtCl-VX_kEpwoutN-yKR-DERBs0xaMakR9vHgL1dCCJPkjb3gqFswmTo3zWTHgMmCjKsoWdgWkV15uG5EpzD30VuWJ4BlKvP5FyHZHZSk9koU8ItQLoEU8SadN8MUMY/s320/idy+observres+tent+raising.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span> </span>It seems this team had more luck than those TV "Big Foot Hunters" we have grown tired of hearing about and debunking. Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here; maybe putting a motley assortment of foul smelling, noisy and besotted bear-men in camo and encouraging them to run amok in the wilderness is not the best way to establish contact with crypto-hominids. This team seems to have employed a kinder, gentler and definitely more elegant approach.</p><div><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBlC0rfLhvmWzKK90rZ4k8ps28OOF4IznJG4INFSj8-zGb_FCoa_IJcnI0CmCFfLhCWN5NBjN3_AOfjxQfjo-z91p8yoZvynlJERmA6EgCGuL7nvNTxpsiACyURzTIf83jI4pvsRRC6A8/s2048/rubbing+eyes.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1500" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBlC0rfLhvmWzKK90rZ4k8ps28OOF4IznJG4INFSj8-zGb_FCoa_IJcnI0CmCFfLhCWN5NBjN3_AOfjxQfjo-z91p8yoZvynlJERmA6EgCGuL7nvNTxpsiACyURzTIf83jI4pvsRRC6A8/w218-h314/rubbing+eyes.jpeg" width="218" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQqECF4qVHV8KPXsOHy4IvNl2dnzVoPsuwn_Zm4oc2XdHaMJ1wjqDNCEHTdSANC2qmzkbrBvyioHFxZW58DcoLe4ezEnt-J_4qhgD0xDmxdSDhRTjCHpMYyQBPfVwXRaVYZ3zUJ9Y0oNI/s2048/home+away+from+home.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQqECF4qVHV8KPXsOHy4IvNl2dnzVoPsuwn_Zm4oc2XdHaMJ1wjqDNCEHTdSANC2qmzkbrBvyioHFxZW58DcoLe4ezEnt-J_4qhgD0xDmxdSDhRTjCHpMYyQBPfVwXRaVYZ3zUJ9Y0oNI/s320/home+away+from+home.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirpRBuISOW_6z22oWE8jY156xN36jUEykCmnoH8DbRIhDcHtryQfha0xUD7F-kZ7ml6NdGKNV5r79fuUHTpICVCeKax6hry1AdGT7kD35_SEXBlFg_lEX5qtDXRC-Jpzg4PtGqj22p8TA/s2048/shadow+in+tent.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirpRBuISOW_6z22oWE8jY156xN36jUEykCmnoH8DbRIhDcHtryQfha0xUD7F-kZ7ml6NdGKNV5r79fuUHTpICVCeKax6hry1AdGT7kD35_SEXBlFg_lEX5qtDXRC-Jpzg4PtGqj22p8TA/s320/shadow+in+tent.jpeg" width="213" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPkBfX_qxnrwu624q7S1JBHUTjzYGWx8l4bDvXhzWZN1qbMYP3zHWrnujbKZya6_960qSY3k1rYT0ZaRX1dugGIc-RCtDvRRWCoGS6PjchUxsiuBuucgo_DEFFGqXwuaqZwAnsPo_iO1M/s2048/the+pair+by+the+qwikset+cabin.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPkBfX_qxnrwu624q7S1JBHUTjzYGWx8l4bDvXhzWZN1qbMYP3zHWrnujbKZya6_960qSY3k1rYT0ZaRX1dugGIc-RCtDvRRWCoGS6PjchUxsiuBuucgo_DEFFGqXwuaqZwAnsPo_iO1M/s320/the+pair+by+the+qwikset+cabin.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div>Like all good research, the value is often in new vistas opened up, new avenues of discovery, and new friends made.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA_2RJe5EttcB8jqxbwl7YHkHk7kCU3v7v7ZCV_PIh5MuCvLLcCgJ7s-T4QYcaVzjQjdmhQ__4tMcWQmqPTdajbpwT2zRtrxkCUev1h9_ZP4nRETjJqqBicNohCXtv-ExqxQ0dO37Gx1g/s2048/getting+directions.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA_2RJe5EttcB8jqxbwl7YHkHk7kCU3v7v7ZCV_PIh5MuCvLLcCgJ7s-T4QYcaVzjQjdmhQ__4tMcWQmqPTdajbpwT2zRtrxkCUev1h9_ZP4nRETjJqqBicNohCXtv-ExqxQ0dO37Gx1g/s320/getting+directions.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH86ZHWfw8lZP5HufUetk9W5EqUwNAG243D9gS0l_32tz_MVh6UVQa3sAtq8ujf2hpYbbFCklF4fYTrxC9CDmL7yOBCp0k95_2Gjt8SZFozWo2TDmnadBkFDNY_wMwKKp5Krx6BiHJuGk/s2048/hug+close+up.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1358" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH86ZHWfw8lZP5HufUetk9W5EqUwNAG243D9gS0l_32tz_MVh6UVQa3sAtq8ujf2hpYbbFCklF4fYTrxC9CDmL7yOBCp0k95_2Gjt8SZFozWo2TDmnadBkFDNY_wMwKKp5Krx6BiHJuGk/s320/hug+close+up.jpeg" width="212" /></a></div></div>David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-64216142096137048442021-01-30T14:38:00.012-08:002022-03-05T10:13:42.409-08:00Oklahoma On My Mind<div style="text-align: left;"> <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; white-space: pre;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px;">“If you don’t know the answer, don’t just make something up.”</span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px;">This simple rule has been in the news lately. It seems to me a good one. We at the Idyll-Beast Research Center do our best to live up to it. If a question is particularly pressing, and/or disturbing, and the answer a matter of ascertainable fact, one should at least try to look it up.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px;"><br /></span></div>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span> <span> </span></span>So it was this week when Idy started in with the questions:</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> “Where is Oklahoma?” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">I was at that moment occupied with a vexing bit of lab maintenance, and the query sounded innocent enough; a vague generality seemed appropriate. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“Far away.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Idy though for a moment and tried again; “Far away or very far?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“A long ways, Idy. Hundreds of mile.” A ballpark estimate.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Idy still wasn’t satisfied. “How many hundreds?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I have learned, over the years, that sometimes you have to address the concerns of others, even if they seem distant or abstract. One animal’s idle wondering may be another’s existential dilemna. So I put down the wrench and the faucet parts, extracted myself from under the sink, and pulled out the atlas. “Let’s see, one inch equals 400 miles… It’s about 800 miles at the closest point… as the crow flies.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Idy mulled over this information for a moment. “That is pretty far.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“What’s up Idy, you aren’t thinking of moving are you?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“To Oklahoma, no, no. Gods and Monsters no.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“What is it then?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Idy grumbled a bit, and then from amidst his folds of luxurious golden fur produced a bit of newsprint. He proceeded to unfold it, and smoothed it out. The headline was a shock, but not, I confess, a surprise.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">OKLAHOMA LAWMAKER INTRODUCES BILL TO CREATE “BIGFOOT” HUNTING SEASON</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I took off my glasses and massaged my forehead. “Oh Idy, I’m so sorry. Where did you find this?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Idy was now all inarticulate grunts and gestures, obviously not going to be distracted. </span>I began a general explanation of the process by which a bill <i>may </i>become a law. </p>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span> </span>“Think of a bill as like…a mosquito egg. Most get eaten by fish or frogs, and we go around in the spring and turn over containers that have water in them. That’s like the legislative committee. Some hatch and turn into larvae, and fish and frogs eat those too. Think of that as the debate on the floor. Those that turn into mosquitos get eaten by birds or bats, think of that as the other house voting no, or the governor vetoing it. …”</span></p></blockquote>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Idy interrupted: “But every summer we still get bit!” </span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;">I tried again. </p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span> <span> </span></span>“Oklahoma has a House and a Senate, and they both have to vote yes on this…” Idy broke in again “But they are all Oklahomans!” </p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">I tried another tack.</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span> </span> “Often the finished legislation bears little resemblance to the proposed bill. It says here the hunting might be limited to ‘non-lethal trapping.’”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">My attempts to soothe Idy were having the opposite effect, he was getting more worked up. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Maybe they should legalize non-lethal trapping of Legislators!” </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Easy now Idy, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind!”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“OK, Homo sapiens, what do you suggest?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Maybe… a letter writing campaign…or postcards.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Suggesting the Legislators schedule their annual team-building workshop in the forest that weekend?”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Oh, Idy, be careful with anything the post office might flag as threatening. It’s always better to come off as encouraging somehow.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Encourage them to…. take up birdwatching! ....Or kite flying!”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span> <span> </span></span>“Now your thinking Idy.. And remember, these people might be ‘non compos mentis’. It isn’t nice to browbeat people who aren’t quite <span> <span> <span> </span></span></span>right in the head or as fortunate as we are.. Always write as if you believe in someone, that they might do the right thing, that you might like them. Here is a picture of the representative who introduced the bill. He has a nice hat..."</p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span> <span> </span></span>“OK,…Dear Lawmaker; I like your hat.…”</span></p><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span> <span> </span></span>“Good start. How about ‘Dear Cousin?’ Everybody in Oklahoma is cousins!”</span><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;">“OK, 'Dear Cousin; I like your hat. Is law-making hard? It looks hard. About this Bigfoot Hunting thing; maybe declaring “open season” <span> </span>on each other isn’t the best idea. Maybe there would be benefits for all Oklahomans in declaring the week of the Honobia Bigfoot Festival “Oklahoma Bigfoot Friendship week?'”</p></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“Now your’e on a roll Idy. Maybe… 'world famous and beloved Honobia Bigfoot Festival.' ”</span></p></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">“OK. And … ‘Local businesses could offer discounts to Bigfoot. People could roam the forests with delicious snacks. Maybe a Bigfoot calling contest with prizes.”</span></p></blockquote>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“That sounds about right. Now you need a nice complimentary closing. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Looking forward to seeing you in the forest next October. Your friend, Idyll-Beast.”</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“That’s great Idy! We'll give you a title...."Legislative Affairs Director, Idyll-Beast Research Center." Maybe we should send copies to all the Oklahoma Legislators."</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> For legislative affairs fans, here is the postcard. You can print it out and send it to members of the Oklahoma Legislature.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;">Dear Cousin</span></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> I like your hat. Is law-making hard? It looks hard. </span></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> About this Bigfoot Hunting thing; maybe declaring “open season” on each other isn’t the best idea. Maybe there would be benefits for all Oklahomans in declaring the week of your world famous and beloved Honobia Bigfoot Festival “Oklahoma Bigfoot Friendship Week.”</span></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> Local businesses could offer discounts to Bigfoot. People could roam the forests with delicious snacks. Maybe a Bigfoot calling contest with prizes. </span></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"> Looking forward to seeing you in the forest next October. </span></p>
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<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Your friend,</span></p><p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-color: white; color: #161a1e; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 10px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Legislatyive Affairs Intern</span></p>
<p style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none; font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Idyll-Beast Research Center</span></p>David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-43618882363566904282020-09-05T13:55:00.001-07:002020-09-05T14:01:06.416-07:00<p>Virtual and physical visitors to our Forests and Parks are advised that not all Idyll-Beast contacts are legitimate. It is a sad fact of our modern existence that unscrupulous actors are poised to take advantage of the unsuspecting. Travelers should exercise normal vigilance and caution during Beast contact episodes.</p><p> 1) Real Idyll-Beasts will never ask for your personal information, Social Security number or Banking data. </p><p> 2) They will never ask you to buy them gift cards or wire transfer them money. </p><p> 3) There is no "valet parking" at Riverside County Parks. Any creature offering to park your car for you should be treated with suspicion. </p><p> 4) Idyll-beast will never send you unsolicited text messages asking you to "click" on a link. Hackers go to great legnths to make messages look real, adding phony ".gov" addresses and even government seals. Better to type an address into the browser bar directly. A cautious "hover" of the mouse will reveal the actual destination of a link. </p><p> 5) The Beast will not use "what's app" or other social medai to contact people and neither will the US government. </p><p> </p><p>Report scams to <a href="ftc.gov/complaint">ftc.gov/complaint</a>. Your report matters. It helps stop scams and alert people about them.
</p>David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-41647581499997028612020-07-14T15:19:00.001-07:002020-07-14T15:19:17.558-07:00New Rules<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Riverside County Public Health Officials have announced new rules regarding Idyll-Beast sightings. </span></div>
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Visitors to our Parks and Wilderness-adjacent communities are instructed to maintain social distancing at all times. Although there are no documented cases of Human to Beast transmission of the Covid virus, the Idyll-Beast should be treated as any other hominid:</div>
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Masks are mandatory in public settings in Riverside County at this time.</div>
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Drive-by sightings are still acceptable, but keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel. Do not swerve wildly or take both hands off the wheel to express terror, surprise or delight. Be considerate of other motorists and do not block traffic.</div>
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Bring fresh trousers. Retail establishments may not be open. </div>
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Selfies should incorporate the Beast in the background. "Arms length plus" is a good rule of thumb.</div>
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If contactees feel the need to shriek in joy or terror they should limit this to "screaming in their hearts," or stifle the scream in an elbow (preferably thier own.) </div>
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Outdoor activities can be healthy and safe if precautions are observed. We can get through this together! </div>
<br />David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-50806755736476024052020-05-24T13:34:00.001-07:002020-05-24T13:35:23.229-07:00Above the Fold<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">This weeks Town Crier</span> has been selling like hotcakes. The attraction is obvious, photojournalist Jennifer Kirchner's work on the front page is pure Pulitzer bait. Kirchner's images are always notable for their blend of artistic sensibility, technical acumen, and illustrative clarity. Her work with highway accidents are a high point in the Crier, keenly anticipated by die-hard readers. They are always well framed and composed, allowing the reader to reconstruct the unfortunate event and see a familiar stretch of highway from a new perspective. </div>
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Kirchner brings the same sensibilities to her wildlife work. In the shot below we find ourselves face to face with the mighty Idyll-Beast. The animal's choice to wear personal protection equipment give the image a timely and even more newsworthy aspect. The location is well-known, but the perspective delightfully askew. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4i8_kIOueajSmg9O2Ly-OHry2ejjT6rUToCV5qNARBkkNpTt3wNFGDtzg1mEXMXl6OYAEXi1SnIavZ6Sdmaf_xRWPyEj3jflevLydu7Ta1cAQ2i1xlUND_Oc2h5yCBcmg2dP3ySLoupk/s1600/Scan+4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4i8_kIOueajSmg9O2Ly-OHry2ejjT6rUToCV5qNARBkkNpTt3wNFGDtzg1mEXMXl6OYAEXi1SnIavZ6Sdmaf_xRWPyEj3jflevLydu7Ta1cAQ2i1xlUND_Oc2h5yCBcmg2dP3ySLoupk/s320/Scan+4.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It is a hallmark of great photojournalism to unite the aesthetic and the informative, to wield the artist's rhetorical skill in the service of bringing the viewer face to face with reality. Ms. Kirchner we salute you.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-59205274014834838802020-04-25T09:09:00.005-07:002020-05-24T13:35:36.433-07:00Oregon Trailblazer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYEkJbWKNy3IAXl2xwXy0E9e23UzN22pIuk3D9sU0uzJqhtiNYZKqlVUIq1ufDo7j7B2vdyuSYW-w4Dd5JsWL4tZpfuEJeQDlmHzikkvqJ3K15FzJ6A2aTGwr-4JFVQ7IbEUHMYlhyphenhyphen3Z0/s1600/Oregon+PSA.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="878" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYEkJbWKNy3IAXl2xwXy0E9e23UzN22pIuk3D9sU0uzJqhtiNYZKqlVUIq1ufDo7j7B2vdyuSYW-w4Dd5JsWL4tZpfuEJeQDlmHzikkvqJ3K15FzJ6A2aTGwr-4JFVQ7IbEUHMYlhyphenhyphen3Z0/s320/Oregon+PSA.tiff" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://wildfiretoday.com/2020/04/24/oregon-enlists-bigfoot-for-help-with-wildfire-prevention/" target="_blank">Click here for more about this evocative celebrity PSA.</a>David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-44882164238448844932020-04-06T08:13:00.001-07:002020-04-08T16:17:43.858-07:00This Just In<div style="text-align: justify;">
This breaking story first came across the transom as a video on the “Coast to Coast Clear Channel”, a source that did not inspire confidence. But the video was easily confirmed as genuine, a Trinity County Board of Supervisors Meeting broadcast on the web. And offering the public the opportunity to participate by teleconference.<br />
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<a href="https://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/video-california-county-debates-resolution-to-protect-bigfoot">https://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/video-california-county-debates-resolution-to-protect-bigfoot</a><br />
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Supervisors where captured on camera debating a resolution to make “any premeditated, willful and wanton slaying of bigfoot a misdemeanor punishable by fine and/or imprisonment in county jail.”<br />
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One doubtful council member asked “Why?” He went on to describe, in increasingly exasperated terms, the hate mail he receives every time the board has this kind of discussion, finishing by stating that he was “offended” by the motion. With the other matters before the Board including public health during the Covid-19 epidemic, and representatives of local first responders waiting to speak, he questioned the timing and propriety of the motion. He suggested that a non-binding “proclamation” would be more appropriate. The first council member pointed out that with programs on television with provocative titles like “Killing Bigfoot” driving local tourism, it would be prudent to make explicit what most of us would know intuitively: It’s wrong, or at least very foolish, to take lethal action against what may or may not be an imaginary animal, or a neighbor in a fur suit. Or a halllucination. Or some intelligent but unknown mammal. And that it is not unknown in that neck of the woods for otherwise law-abiding members of the community, for reasons personal, spiritual or commercial, to don fur suits and commune with nature. Or other humans. And that all of these phenomenon deserve statutory protection, at least a fine. Washington state has reportedly done this already.<br />
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After the various (human) stakeholders weighed in about subjects like tourism, bio-diversity, “enthusiasts” hiking the trails, and “dangerous costumes,” the motion was tabled, with the sponsoring council member promising to draft the proposal as a proclamation and continue the discussion at the next meeting. Doubtless the mention of nearby Willow Creek’s “Bigfoot Days”, and the possibility of “something Squatch related" the weekend before giving a lift to local commerce, impressed the more skeptical members and underlined the gravity of the issue<br />
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Left out of the conversation, as the public health and first responder spokespeople took the floor, were Bigfoot’s feelings about this. Bigfoot, notoriously elusive, is unlikely to weigh in personally. He is not known to answer calls for comment. “This user has not configured their voicemail…” He could be termed a Social Distancing Pioneer.<br />
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The Idyll-Beast, although notoriously discrete, has a more relaxed attitude about humans. And offered this statement. “At least limit the season, the bear and the deer get that much!” The Beast added: “We may not need legislation. Existing statute places many restrictions on hunting, and rules against taking wildlife, although rarely enforced, probably cover this. Other predators are known to stay away from Bigfoot. Mountain lions and bears find they 'taste too much like people.' An ounce of education is worth a pound of enforcement!”<br />
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David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-67043995351266258562020-03-23T20:47:00.002-07:002020-04-08T19:25:06.443-07:00The World Takes a Deep Breath<div style="text-align: justify;">
With the cessation of most human movement, a strange silence falls on our community. Nature looks around. The Beasts venture out of the forest, peeking into local cafes and restaurants. Furry digits trace the signs: Take Out Only. Just as the swans and dolphins have returned to the canals of Venice (probably following the fish) the Idyll-Beast is being spotted up and down North Circle Drive.</div>
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Some of his restlessness is perhaps due to Heidi's continued absence. Plans to repatriate her from Washington have been... put on hold. Members of the Emotional Support Animal Task Force assembled to help Mueller's grand jury witnesses, retained for the House's impeachment hearings, and then kept in reserve in case witnesses would be called for the "trial" in the Senate, are sheltering in place. It is presently unknown how many animals were left behind, or how many may have "self naturalized," disappearing under the beds and into the woodwork, ventilation and uphostery. There's no point now in placing blame for the delay in returning these volunteers (and professionals) to their communities. In mid-February there seemed no hurry, just a bunch of plane reservations for unaccompanied animals. Now, just as the nation experiences an unprecedented need for comfort, many of our furry first responders are sidelined.</div>
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Many of us are separated from loved ones in this trying time. Some of us can do nothing but wait, while a small number race against time and the limits of human endurance. As we turn inwards our thoughts go out to them, both the isolated and the overwhelmed. Those of us who can breathe normally are taking a deep breath, and taking stock of what we have and who we are. Spring is coming. And a somewhat distracted looking Idyll-Beast is sighted ambling toward town with a daffodil and a branch of plum blossoms in hand.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-72339749614284795492020-01-24T19:43:00.001-08:002020-01-24T19:43:46.045-08:00We Honor Your Service<div style="text-align: justify;">
On Novermber 13th of last year, when members of the House of Intelligence Committee officially began it’s inquiry into the Impeachment of President Donald Trump, a groundswell of support among members of the Emotional Support Animal community manifested in an historic demonstration of solidarity, as Service Animals crowded the capitol building to offer their services to Representatives, their staff, and the witnesses.<br /><br /><a href="https://nypost.com/2019/11/13/therapy-dogs-visit-stressed-congressional-staffers-at-impeachment-hearings/">https://nypost.com/2019/11/13/therapy-dogs-visit-stressed-congressional-staffers-at-impeachment-hearings/</a><br /><br /> As the testimony unfolded Americans were disarmed by the candor and the courage of the witnesses, but the animals were the unsung heroes, the unseen stars. EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland’s cheerful visage and even playful demeanor was apparently due in no small part to the trio of rodents, hamsters to be precise, that crowded his lap as he faced the committee. “Quid”, “Pro”, and “Quo” were unavailable for comment, but Service Animal scuttlebutt has it that the small furry creatures were shaken but unharmed by their time with “Ambassador restless hands.” Dr. Fiona Hill and Ambassador Yovanovich are said to have waived the right to Emotional Support animals, but to have stopped by the dressing room to say “hi.” Our own Heidi Beast is reported to have persuaded both to autograph her harness.<br /><br /> As the articles of impeachment have been conveyed to the Senate, rules for witnesses, and their Emotional Support animals, remain a “bone” of contention between members of the minority and majority. Former National Security Advisor John Bolton is rumored to have demanded a Panda Bear. And a wading pool full of blue M&Ms, but that is another story. The Panda request stretches and tests our definition of Support Animal, and Mr. Bolton’s stated intent to “…ride the Panda into the Senate chamber with a bullwhip in one hand and a cattle prod in the other” has raised eyebrows on both sides of the aisle. It would certainly raise the hackles of animal rights activists.<br /> Bolton has even requested an emotional support animal for his mustache, “some kind of spiny, venomous caterpillar in an appropriate matching shade of grey.” This may be impossible. The main exporter of grey spiny venomous caterpillars, Australia, is presently suffering a summer of horrific wild fires, and the status of the caterpillars is still unknown.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-36216457527781669772019-06-05T12:36:00.004-07:002020-04-11T11:01:10.322-07:00Deer Family<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the interest of "research and scientific inquiry" the FBI has recently released documents from its vault regarding Bigfoot, specifically the <a href="https://vault.fbi.gov/bigfoot/bigfoot-part-01-of-01/view" target="_blank">analysis of hair samples</a> purported to belong to the beloved crypto-hominid. These documents will be of interest to fans of government transparency and lovers of Bigfoot.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQIjTvkAjJLoXvxWtMVlcADOtGtlw9g7cjpPBEItEIokTNj56y48jITNhXjpd5EpIkJ5j2Me_5xVEjxntNAgY_RWx8m2NN9ge5rWGSpbD90QNCBt5PTPsH9GQHc6n_k_6u1PKM7v0usXA/s1600/FBI+Bigfoot+cover+letter.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="678" data-original-width="561" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQIjTvkAjJLoXvxWtMVlcADOtGtlw9g7cjpPBEItEIokTNj56y48jITNhXjpd5EpIkJ5j2Me_5xVEjxntNAgY_RWx8m2NN9ge5rWGSpbD90QNCBt5PTPsH9GQHc6n_k_6u1PKM7v0usXA/s320/FBI+Bigfoot+cover+letter.tiff" width="264" /></a></div>
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It seems that, during the 1970's, Bigfoot's identity was considered a matter of national security. Our nation's top law enforcement agency kept a file on the mysterious manimal and investigated credible reports of his (or her) activities. The file includes, in addition to newspaper articles and letters from researchers, fur and "tissue" samples which were forwarded to the relevant experts. The agency's Fur Analysis Laboratory returned a tantalizing verdict: the samples belonged to a member of the Deer family.<br />
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The agents in charge made an attempt to contact the researcher but he was apparently difficult to reach. The letter informing him of the test results was returned by the post office and then lost in the bureaucracy, only coming to the light of public knowledge with a recent release of FBI files.</div>
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Reached at his Fern Valley redoubt, the Idyll-Beast looked over the documents carefully before responidng: "Yes, I've always considered Bigfoot to be a member of my dear family. I think an uncle." Bigfoot declined numerous requests for comment.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-74477775272028830772019-03-26T12:11:00.003-07:002019-04-14T10:35:05.163-07:00Bebriefing<div style="text-align: justify;">
With the close of the Mueller investigation
and the delivery of the Special Prosecuotor's report to the Attorney
General, we here in Idyllwilid have been expecting the release of the Idyll-Beast from service as Grand Jury
Witness Emotional Support Animals. And sure enough, a phone call came, and I had a trip to the airport to make, a trip Idyllwilders will know is now substantially longer due to weather damage
to our local highways. The flight was a Red-Eye and would arrive before dawn.</div>
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My first impression upon seeing Idy was that he had gained weight.
The life of a Grand Jury Witness Emotional Support Animal is not as
glamorous as it may sound. The Beast was housed in an
outside-the-beltway Motel 6, and lived on deliveries of fast food and
the snacks that the prosecutor's team keep in their brief cases. Only a
thorough examination will reveal the truth of the rumor that he also ate a
"target" of the investigation. He is still unable to comment on Grand
Jury proceedings, and the Idyll-Beast is a monster of discretion. We at the Research Center will be raking through the evidence for any "individual number two." </div>
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I waited a moment, expecting Heidi to join Idy. He looked at me quizzically. "Where's Heidi?" I asked. He shifted his eyes and began making the mumbling/growling sound an Idyll-Beast makes when he or she is feigning the inability to produce articulate speech. "Come on Idy, is she here or not? Is she OK?"</div>
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Idy seemed at last to find the right words. "Heidi is... continuing robustly. She's fine. Not here..." I was perplexed. "The Investigation is over, right? She can't still be working for the Grand Jury? The report... the no more indictments thing..." Idy interrupted me. "If I told you, I'd have to eat you." He waited a beat and made a sort of furry chuckle.</div>
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I knew that there are many things a Grand Jury Witness Emotional Support Animal can never discuss, at least while proceedings are "under seal." The Beast had no luggage. We continued on to the car. As he eased himself into the passenger seat I sensed a weariness I had
not observed before. I asked him how things had gone. He looked at me
and paused, weighing his words carefully. He leaned towards me
confidentially. Of his time in our nation's capitol he would only say:
"What a Zoo!"</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-58153411236037663532019-03-07T17:36:00.000-08:002019-04-02T11:26:05.858-07:00Jury Duty<div style="text-align: justify;">
With activity picking up in the chambers of the Grand Jury in the nation's capitol, staff are receiving enthusiastic responses from clients of our new
service, Idyll-Beast Research Center Witness Protection Emotional Support Animals.
Idyll-Beast are available now to accompany nervous witnesses to grand
jury proceedings, both locally and in Washington D.C. </div>
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It seems that many witnesses presently being called to testify before the various Grand Juries have lost the knack of truth telling. They have become so accustomed to being rewarded for "stretching" the truth, or even letting loose with transparent fabrications, that they are uncertain how to proceed in an environment where straying from the facts could lead to jail time, and where truthfully testifying could implicate treasoners, perjurers, money launderers, and even dog stealers. With many witness protection emotional support animals hiding under beds or even developing symptoms requiring that the animals themselves be accompanied by emotional support animals, the Idyll-Beast has stepped into the breach. </div>
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Witnesses are finding that being able to rest a hand on a warm furry head and to glance from time to time into liquid, reassuring eyes, smooths their racing heartbeats, making it a little easier to tell sometimes difficult truths. Although not allowed to coach witnesses, the Beast is allowed to "encourage" them with occasional murmurs of "'Atta boy!" and "Who's a
good witness?"</div>
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If you are presently a cooperating witness or just need a
little help to start cooperating, even if the targets of the investigation have
threatened to harm or "take" your usual comfort or emotional support
animal, contact us now. All communications will be considered privileged
and absolute confidentiality is a hallmark of all services the Research
Center provides.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-62225218550770011002019-03-07T17:18:00.001-08:002019-04-20T12:42:30.063-07:00This Week at the Idyll-Beast Research Center<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqwIHm5tyJqwF6soMLZpQ_puJ9KOtsBPvrnHWIk72Gqsg350U2Bk1j9gQXA9TMCZJJdzbaYhoyROOiblhq0zJnN0XIMJQnCt_0i3ZC7Q1yvvNclD-kwBYyMrJ5V89cOEualcnq8cZ8yk/s1600/IMG_0188.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqwIHm5tyJqwF6soMLZpQ_puJ9KOtsBPvrnHWIk72Gqsg350U2Bk1j9gQXA9TMCZJJdzbaYhoyROOiblhq0zJnN0XIMJQnCt_0i3ZC7Q1yvvNclD-kwBYyMrJ5V89cOEualcnq8cZ8yk/s320/IMG_0188.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
The marvelous reality that is the Idyll-Beast Research Center. The place where the science and magic happen. Comfort and utility. <br />
So many stories to stay on top of in the news. Here are the top items:<br />
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Reporters on the legal beat are staking out a San Bernardino court room waiting for the next shoe to drop in the case that has been keeping court watchers, cryptozooligists and crypto enthusiasts up nights. When will the plaintiff refile? If the allegations in the first complaint are true, there is a crisis in our forests, bigfoot sightings being wrongly dismissed as "bears," thus leaving visitors in peril of a new kind of American Carnage. This story may end up shaping how the new governor's term is remembered, and the state's response to the pleadings will likely be read and re-read by students of law and crypto-zoology for generation to come. Check this site frequently for updates.<br />
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<br />David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-23317301093640735692018-11-30T22:01:00.002-08:002018-11-30T22:01:32.329-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ujUurbTLwNb60C3Jj1yI6SQ1taXW05WMJ9N42TJ0WTMKHMu4vyjxUuY4kCCnw8VCB1-A74QsPecOp6IXJxjxFDzdqR2aKHY-VOKCxVwHoH51Bjnr1aT-FrMV_EmaLYnC6Dwu-JP5UM4/s1600/IMG_3955.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1261" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ujUurbTLwNb60C3Jj1yI6SQ1taXW05WMJ9N42TJ0WTMKHMu4vyjxUuY4kCCnw8VCB1-A74QsPecOp6IXJxjxFDzdqR2aKHY-VOKCxVwHoH51Bjnr1aT-FrMV_EmaLYnC6Dwu-JP5UM4/s320/IMG_3955.jpeg" width="252" /></a></div>
<br />David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-84557513721976842252018-04-02T14:46:00.003-07:002018-07-19T18:03:44.884-07:00Without Prejudice<div style="text-align: justify;">
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The Crestline-based Bigfoot researcher who filed suit against the state of California has dropped that case, but with the intent to refile. Attorneys apparently instructed the plaintiff that they would all be “eaten alive” if the action were pursued as drafted, and are now helping put the complaint on a better “footing.” With help from the producer of the recent Net-Flix documentary “Finding Bigfoot,” the plaintiff is in the process of enlisting a posse of a-list lawyers and technical experts. They plan to introduce a “mountain” of evidence. It seems every able-bodied litigator or Bigfoot researcher in the country will want a piece of this; they can see it advancing their careers or satisfying their love of justice. And cryptohominids.</div>
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We have put two and two together here at the Idyll-Beast Research Center. The recent and concerning reports of the President’s difficulties in Washington, finding the right attorneys to represent him in any and all of his present “suite” of suits, points to a scarcity of crack legal talent in the nation’s capital. The lawyers, at least the sharp ones… are all moving to California. They may be living out of their cars at first. Some of them may be camping out around here this spring. I don’t know if it’s good or bad. Bound to drive up real estate, could make the courts and public restrooms more crowded… If the suit is refiled in San Bernardino again it will bring positive attention to the Inland Empire. And the limelight that is bound to shine on the smart lawyers who get involved in this at the ground level will surely make their careers.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-83917667917872913972018-04-02T14:44:00.003-07:002020-04-06T11:11:23.517-07:00January 18 2018: Amicus CuraeFriends of the Court;<br />
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News consumers have by now heard the story: A Crestline Bigfoot researcher has filed suit against the State of California over a "sighting" in the San Bernardino mountains near Big Bear. A 911 operator suggested that the furry creature climbing a tree might be a bear, thus disparaging and harming plaintiff’s ability to earn a living as a Bigfoot researcher, documentary subject and Crypto-Hominid travel guide. The State is also accused of dereliction in it’s dual duties; to protect people from a potentially dangerous animal and protect Bigfoot from people.</div>
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This is a staggering development. It’s consequences for science, law, philosophy, and politics all deserve our attention. Reification is one of the most powerful ideas in philosophy, the “making real” of an idea. To make Sasquatch real through litigation…It is an audacious move. </div>
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There is a type of legal document called a “Friend of the Court Brief.” It allows a third party to add some information or argument to a case. It may be a friendly aside to the Judge, it may be a “heads up.” Reports are that such a brief is being prepared by a group called the “National Dragon Hunting Association.” The brief will put before the court arguments about the potential danger, to our forests and flammable mountain communities, of loose dragons. Further arguments advance the wisdom of permitting folks to hunt the dragons. An appendix debunks global warming and attributes California’s wildfire problem to these same fire breathing reptiles. Wow. And I thought 2018 was shaping up to be a slow news year.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-2388184755942695742017-06-14T17:05:00.000-07:002020-04-06T11:14:17.950-07:00LA Weakly<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Reports began filtering in this week about <a href="http://www.laweekly.com/arts/a-guide-to-idyllwild-home-of-the-idyll-beast-8301149" target="_blank">a story in the “LA Weekly”</a> featuring Idyllwild and comparing our Idyll-Beast to “Big Foot.” I did receive a call from a man who identified himself as “Drew Tewksbury” and claimed to be a reporter (“managing editor”) for this publication. I suspected a hoax: I was not familiar with the paper, and the disrespectful tenor of his questions (“Is that you in the costume? Where did you get the costume?” etc) made me question his credentials. A perusal of the “LA Weekly” website revealed a normal looking masthead, but a few cautions, including a claim to have received a Pulitzer Prize… for restaurant reviews. </div>
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“Drew” further stirred my skepticism when he revealed that on his first visit to Idyllwild he had come with the intention of stealing an Idyll-Beast crossing sign from the side of the highway. The signs proved elusive, being primarily posted on quiet residential streets, and those that have been posted on the highway have not lasted long. Stealing them is an idea which apparently occurs to many “Larcenous Americans”.</div>
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He did manage to talk to Steve Moulton, which is most likely where he picked up the “David Jerome in a fur suit” theory. He apparently failed to notice that the Beast crossing signs are available at Steve’s “Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe” in a variety of sizes, and at prices affordable even to members of the fourth estate. So much for journalistic acumen or integrity. </div>
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The story, not surprisingly, contains a number of inaccuracies and errors, and also demonstrates the lamentable tendency of the press to mangle or even make up quotes to fit the “flow” of the their “style.” The assertion that Steve and I “hatched” the Idyll-Beast shows a lack of knowledge of mammalian biology. The semi-clever conflation of separate statements created the unfortunate and awkward quotation “Never give the Idyll-Beast liquor and karaoke.” </div>
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Another funny thing: He asked me about my other job and I told him I am known (or unknown) as “the unknown Jerome,” and that I play out in local spots four times every weekend. He changed this to “…a classically trained guitar teacher by day…” Where does he get these things … recycling wikipedia pages? It isn’t untrue specifically, just one of those wordings I’ve seen when people start making things up. Or larding up the sentences for the sake of “style.” I imagine the writer scratching his head...“It sure would be nice to have a day/night thing…let’s see; by day a... let’s make it as mild mannered as possible…. let’s see, pastry chef? Too exciting. Fashion designer? No, no,…classically trained guitarist… no, guitar <i>teacher</i>. Take out the matter of performance altogether. Ah, the smooth surface of narrative woven from the tangled stream of cliches…. yes, droll, that’s the effect I’m after."<br />
I could go on, but I believe I have made my point. Although the only bad press is no press, and he did spell my name right, the media, mainstream or otherwise, should always be taken with a grain of salt. Until I actually see “Drew” I must label the evidence inconclusive.</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-18820221137092467732017-05-20T13:57:00.002-07:002020-04-06T11:14:39.860-07:00Chris CrossBeastographer Chris Rheume has submitted another stunning image. This one was snapped near the dump, an outstanding location that combines scenic wonders and natural Beast-attractive properties. Thanks Chris! 2017 is shaping to be a banner year for Beast sightings.<br />
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<br />David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-58115210167064273712017-05-13T13:34:00.003-07:002018-04-02T15:05:23.811-07:00From the "Hundred and One Nights:" Little Red Riding Einstein<br />
For many years the part of the wolf was played by actor and long time local Michael Rider. Little Red Riding Einstein was interpreted memorably by a succession of actresses...<br />
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One day the phone rang for Little Red Riding Einstein. It wasn’t her phone, it was the phone of the person who happened to be near her. “Hello? Why yes she is, how did you….yes I suppose so..” and handed Red the phone.<br />
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It was little Red Riding Einstein’s mother. Something about a wolf prowling around Grandma’s cottage in the woods. Little Red gave the phone back to whomever and said only:<br />
“I gotta go.”<br />
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She hopped into her El Camino and headed on up the Highway. (Obeying all speed indications along the way.) When she arrived at the familiar craftsman cottage, up a dirt road and behind two gates, it didn’t take long for her to figure out what had happened. The door was ajar and “grandma never leaves her door ajar.” She went inside gently, quietly. There was a large and somewhat battered looking grey wolf lying in Grandma’s bed wearing a bonnet, and “Grandma never wears a bonnet like that to bed.”<br />
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Little Red Riding Einstein approached the creature lying in Grandma’s bed in a none-too-expert attempt at a grandma disguise. The wolf was biding his time, just waiting for his set up line. “Here we go, here we go,” he thought to himself, “come on, come on, you can do it. “My, Grandma, what big…. “<br />
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But Little Red wasn’t feeding the Wolf anything, not even a cue. She was just doing that “calm assertive” thing the dog whisperer talks about.<br />
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The wolf felt the first chill of stage fright. “Maybe a little improv will loosen things up,” he thought to himself.<br />
The wolf, in a somewhat trembly version of his best Grandma voice, tested the water with<br />
“My, Little Red Riding Einstein, what beautiful red lips you have.”<br />
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“All the better to kiss my darling Grandma with,” the girl spoke simply, as if she had not a care in the world.<br />
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The Wold began to see his fortunes improving. “I always was good with the improv,” he reassured himself. “Let’s go!”<br />
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“My, Little Red Riding Einstein, what beautiful blue eyes you have,” the Wolf continued in a now more boldly modulated imitation of Grandma’s voice.<br />
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“All the better to spy out the difference between my Grandma and some crack actor gigolo Wolf.” <br />
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This last line was delivered in a manner rsurprisingly steelly for such a slender and even waif-like person, and shattered the thin ice the Wolf had been skating on. The sudden drop of Red's voice into the baritone range was further disconcerting, as anyone who has heard it will attest.<br />
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The Wolf felt his blood run cold. The sweat of the ill-starred opening night chilled his furry armpits and the stink of fear and failure began to sting his nostrils. At this point there was not much he could do, but the show must go on. He kept on, really improvising this time;<br />
“My Little Red Einstein, what big bulging b-b-b-b-biceps you have.”<br />
And the reply like a shot;<br />
“All the better to tear you limb from limb with! Prepare to meet your Maker, Wolf.”<br />
Immediately she set upon him. The Wolf jumped back and bit her on her upper lip, leaving, by the way, a handsome scar that you can still see to this day, or at least you could last time I saw her.<br />
Little Red’s skill with the jabs and tugs was just as sure as hers with the Stanislavski or the Method acting.. She give him a good you-know-what in the you-know-where and the Wolf doubled over and coughed Grandma up whole, and in surprisingly good condition for woman of a certain age who had just been eaten by a wolf.<br />
Little Red Riding Einstein and Grandma then proceeded to double team that hapless canine, and it wasn’t long before there was nothing left of him but some bones that Little Red later took home for her doggies to chew on, and an only slightly mangy wolf pelt that she brought home to make a bed for her kitty cats to sleep on.<br />
Once the dishes had been done and put away, Little Red Riding Einstein went out to her El Camino and retrieved her Stradivarius. She rosined up the bow, tuned it up, and treated Grandma to a little of Bach’s first Suite for Violin Cello.<br />
When the last chord had died out she drew a deep breath and noticed that Grandma had nodded off. She put her cello back in the case, put out the lamp, and closed and locked the front door. She tossed her Stradivarius in to the back of her El Camino and headed on down the highway.<br />
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“What do you think the moral of that is?”<br />
“Don’t ever play mind games with somebody with a name like Einstein?”<br />
“Always chew your food thoroughly before swallowing?”David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-21430046228970597272017-05-06T13:39:00.002-07:002017-05-06T13:44:59.001-07:00Scheherezade's Story and the "Hundred and One Idyllwildian Nights"In the days of the Beast Flag Republic the people of our town celebrated the Idyll-Beast Festival differently than we do now. The spectacle was, though more primitive, much more lavish, and the cult more devoted. But its spirit was incomparably more cruel. The climax of the festival was the Bar-B-Que of a real Idyll-Beast. For this a creature was trapped each year and tied up behind the Snow White Laundry. The animal rode in the parade down North Circle like nowadays, but was then afterwards roasted and eaten. This annual event was keenly anticipated by the townspeople, with the exception of the vegetarians, who were in any case rarer than today.<br />
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According to contemporary accounts there was nothing more delicious than roast Beast, and nothing more terrible than the effects on the spirit the ritual had; the greedy expectation, the gluttony, the dull satiation that lasted for days after, the aching in the soul as the effects wore off and the eater began to feel that he was digesting his own insides, the attempt to dull the sickly quickened appetite with loads of sweet and meat, grease and starch.<br />
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When old folks told this story years ago, they would go on and on about the preparation of the Beast, until the children (and anyone else listening) had all fallen asleep. The townspeople each took a role in the festive process, some feeding him (or her), others grooming and entertaining her (or him.) The preparation of the sauce was undertaken by members of the Rotary club and the American Legion, each group entrusted with one half a recipe that had been passed down through generations. Children gathered the firewood, the old ones the special herbs. The Realtors oversaw the “division” of the animal into individual portions. Shop-keepers donated the rare ingredients for the stuffing, and Innkeepers provided hand towels for the sticky-fingered celebrants. And the Idyll-Beast was only the capstone, as it were, of a pyramid of delicious wildlife. Deer and Bear, Raccoon and Squirrel, Mole and Chipmunk, Boar and Rabbit, and Quail and Frog adorned and added each their own individual notes of flavor to the terrible banquet.<br />
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Eventually this hunting (along with habitat loss) decimated the local Idyll-Beast population, and there was even talk about serving pork ribs instead. Then one summer an unlikely Animal “volunteered” herself for the sacrifice, simply strolling or sauntering into town one sunny day to hand herself over. Her story is called “Scheherezade’s” story. That’s not the name the Beast gave herself, but what the people came to call her…<br />
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Scheherezade.<br />
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Securely tied up behind the Snow White Laundramat, the Beast seemed quite comfortable. People came to gawk and offer the Animal snacks. The local restaurants sent take out. This went on for several weeks. The night before the feast, she began to tell a story. She began to regale her captors with a story about Old Idyllwild. Full of Realtors and Building Inspectors, wily shopkeepers and clueless tourists, hard-drinking young folks, legal shenanigans and black magic. The tale entranced the listeners. But just at the most dramatic moment, the Beast introduced a plot twist and a sub-narrative, and the listeners all realized they were actually hearing a story about a story about Idyllwild. The Beast then announced that she was too sleepy to continue, but would finish tomorrow…. The Feast had, in the past, occasionally been put off a day or two, one year for the rain, one year when a fire forced a temporary evacuation; so the delay was not unheard of, and the people really wanted to hear the rest of the story. And so the Animal was spared. The next night’s story “ended” just as suspensfully. And so the tales and tales within tales continued…and multiplied… for 101 nights…..David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-62228104803303555662017-03-31T21:24:00.001-07:002017-03-31T21:24:23.153-07:00Life Imitates ArtBeast watcher Christine Rheaume submits this stunning evidence of a sighting at an undisclosed location near Astro-Camp.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEzliKIxCK4_OmUlvvkGuAKqQDmbK5HUI9_LRUdtJNQuPl1jJzJmAVHplsGxEiBB8q2YOfihERHqsucMvwfYFirMbjc1i6I6F_jC7LGH7pXfull1phsbhhyZe0hXDBVUGwYTWrjm74Xo/s1600/download-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDEzliKIxCK4_OmUlvvkGuAKqQDmbK5HUI9_LRUdtJNQuPl1jJzJmAVHplsGxEiBB8q2YOfihERHqsucMvwfYFirMbjc1i6I6F_jC7LGH7pXfull1phsbhhyZe0hXDBVUGwYTWrjm74Xo/s320/download-3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The Beast crossing sign has improved safety on Christine's street and provided a safe passage corridor for wildlife. Keep up the good work, Chris!David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-77486418639582540192016-12-03T13:15:00.002-08:002020-04-06T11:17:27.762-07:00Great DividerToday Renate Caine asked for the lyrics to one of the songs I sing. Broadly topical, it seems to never go out of style. Now more than ever.<br />
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We all come from the same place,<br />
and we all have to die.<br />
What's all this dangerous nonsense,<br />
what's with this great divide?<br />
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We've got nothing between us,<br />
and there's noplace to hide<br />
outside, the water's rising,<br />
how'd the river get to be so wide?<br />
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Dig down deep,<br />
dig as deep as you can,<br />
layer after layer you find them,<br />
history's also ran.<br />
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It looks like we're the lucky,<br />
as much as the quick, the good, or the strong,<br />
'cause when that ____ hits the fan,<br />
it's bigger than any man.<br />
<br />
So let's not talk about good enough,<br />
I think we'll have to do,<br />
you and me together sister,<br />
still a few things we can do.<br />
<br />
<br />
Season's Greetings, Beast Watchers.David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-9960501925635150052016-08-13T13:20:00.003-07:002020-04-06T11:15:53.665-07:00Fair and Balanced: The Beast's Rebuttal<div style="text-align: justify;">
Reached at his Fern Valley Redoubt, the Beast had a few words to share regarding the Fox 11 story “captured” below.</div>
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"First of all, the story is a little blurry. It could be an actual screen shot of a Fox News 11 webstory, or it cold be a clever forgery. Are these people accustomed to publishing stories based on testimony by people with names like "Colonel Cotton?" Sounds more like "Colonel Cotton-Mouth" to me."<br />
"I was in Mountain Center that day, and though it could be a concidence, I did see someone who might have been “Colonol Cotton” as he staggered down the steps from a poorly maintained RV. The aroma of the Winnebago was a mixture of hot rubber, petro-chemicals, human waste, and various deodorants. As “Col. Cotton” emerged, so did the unmistakable skunk-smokey smell of the herbal smoking mixture he and “Mrs. Cotton” had been partaking of in the “cabin.” They had not recently bathed, and the masking odors they both utilized barely subdued the odors of grease from fast-food eateries, ranch dressing, something that disagreed with “Col. Cotton’s” insides, and a recent fishing trip." <br />
"Since the interview only quoted “Col. Cotton,” I will refrain from touching on “Mrs. Cotton’s” odor. But I do think I recognized “Gretchen” from somewhere, and she had a strangely familiar face." </div>
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"Mrs. Cotton” did have quite a head of hair, but the "Colonel's" fur was patchy at best. His greying roots gave away an amateurish dye-job." </div>
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At this point the Beast sighed heavily. "I sometimes get tired of addressing these kind of stories, but I can still hope it provides a teachable moment."</div>
David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-19509552684122284332016-07-31T13:11:00.004-07:002016-07-31T13:12:51.337-07:00Crazy Like A Fox This came in today through the Intertubes. A Beast sighting at the Mountain Center gas station. Neither Fox News nor Colonel Cotton have replied to requests for comment.<br />
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Not to be too politically correct, but Fur Covered Americans sometimes take exception to the generic "Sasquatch" (a much blurrier creature) and the old canard about "skunks" and "rotten meat." Modern Idyll-Beast Researchers prefer "garlicky," "hints of sage and cedar," and "undertone of bacon."<br />
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We hope Colonel and Mrs Cotton enjoyed their visit to California, and look forward to interviewing them up at the Research Center on their next visit.David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5640156303827338609.post-14336712675219298722016-07-29T11:30:00.001-07:002016-07-31T12:55:22.639-07:00Saunders Meadow Beast CrossingSafety minded citizens have created a new Beast Crossing on an undisclosed byway near Saunders Meadow Road. This image captures the magic of twilight and the effectiveness of these handy and beautiful signs. Be sure to keep your eyes open, and drive safely people.<br />
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<br />David Jeromehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05563491241700946886noreply@blogger.com0