New Converts

Although it is never our intention to prosletyze, the Idyll-Beast Research Center's community outreach effort has lead many to embrace the Beast. Halloween was a special opportunity to meet and greet the younger generation.

I was honored to be invited this week to participate in a colloquium at Astro Camp, that other Scientific Organization on the hill. Those people really love science. And root beer schnapps. It was a relaxed yet scientifically rigorous evening of highbrow infotainment. We look forward to future exchanges. Much interest was expressed in the upcoming translation of the so-called "Prophecies of Beastradamus." This project has taken much of my time lately, but will be of interest to Idyllwilders, especially the credulous ones. Many uncanny references to a strangely familiar "village in the pines."

What's New at the Idyll-Beast Research Center

Last week I was shocked to be asked by local eminence grisé Hubert Halkin "Is there really an Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe?" People, skepticism is healthy, and I know some folks never venture North of Cafe Aroma, but the IBRC Museum and Gift Shoppe is as real as any other business in Idyllwild. Maybe not as profitable, but just swing by 54875 B North Circle and see for yourselves. Doubting Thomases. Having established the reality of the shoppe, I then am asked what exactly we do there. Harder to answer. Well, last week we:

*Repaired furniture for customers,

*Sold some tee shirts and halloween costumes (available for children and pets)

*Took orders for Beastiopathic Remedies and "Calling All Idyll-Beasts" Sacred Space Clearing Spray (Christmas is coming),

*Educated legions of tourists,

*Assembled our first IBRC "Li'l Researcher Adventure Play Sets,"

*Met many curious and supportive business owners and community members.

*Negotiated image rights for the new IBRC postcards. A real asset to the community.

*Developed curricula for our new continuing education series. In these times many of us are investing in new skills. Our "Dumpster Diving 101" sections are filling up fast.

MEDICAL NEWS: Back at the Research Center proper, our scientists are working overtime to insure a plentiful supply of the new H1B1 "Beast flu" vaccine. Dr. Idyllbeast himself will be performing the innoculations at the Museum. Parents bring your children.

And people, if you are new to the Blog, please read the posts from previous months. Much valuable information is available there.

A Cautionary Tale

Many of you by now have heard about the closing of one of our local "watering holes" as a result of an unfortunate incident involving an Idyll-Beast. Many locals show sympathy for these creatures, allowing them to forage in dumpsters and even leaving scraps out for them. It seems patrons at Jo Ann's crossed the line, offering meals and drinks to one beast, and the creature lost much of its natural aversion to human contact. Soon yokels were inviting "Idy" in for drinks. "Bartender, a chocotini for my Furry Friend!" Ha ha. What could possibly go wrong? It turns out the one thing worse than buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast is buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast on Karaoke night. The county was not amused. Emergency response teams are very expensive. One family's adventure in Idyllwild hospitality has been cut short. And members of our community are out of work. The follies of the few beget the suffering of many.

The Real Deal

At last, an image that repays serious scrutiny. Muzzle to muzzle with the unknown, these are the moments we researchers live for. In focus, great depth of field, good lighting and color balance, excellent composition. Almost painterly in its approach to subject and landscape, this image was recently taken at Inspiration point. Technical details to follow. 

OK OK already

This is not such a great picture. Eyes closed. Poor depth of field. Color lackluster. Light too bright in lower half, too dark above. Composition lackluster. Point and shoot. Very much a run-of-the-mill Beast sighting photograph. Still it's a start. Submit your Idyll-Beast sighting shots. 

A DREAM COME TRUE

The picture is worth a thousand words. We ask not what the community can do for us, but rather what we can do for Idyllwild. We have hit the ground running. Or rather loping.

We've all heard the conversation: "Why can't I find ______ in Idyllwild?" What kind of goods and services can the IBRC Museum and Gift Shoppe provide? Some folks talk about guitar strings and picks. A lovely waitress at the Famous Red Kettle mentioned a pair of tourists who decided to stay the weekend...and didn't have any clean underwear. I think we can help: we still have plenty of cruelty free synthetic Beast fur. And a needle and thread. Folks have mentioned printer ink, and officers at Hewlett Packard have apparently begun high level discussions about a deeper involvement with the promotion of the Idyll-Beast. With the demise of the General Store certain seasonal products have disappeared. A few Halloween items already grace our furry shelves. We are hard at work on Beastmas tree ornaments. What do you think? Food items, as I have mentioned below, are problematic. And the inventory can't be too pricey. And the intention is not to compete with existing so-called "real" retail establishments. These people have suffered enough.

Do I Smell a Party?

The Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe (also know colloquially as "the Cave") will open this Saturday, September 5. The address is 54875 B (as in Beast) North Circle, conveniently located between Bubba's Books and the Creek House. Beast Sightings will probably begin around 4 PM; when Aroma shuts the kitchen down between shifts the scavenging there dries up fast. The location will be impossible to miss, just look for the sign of the Idyll-Beast (you will recognize it.) Even without a map you should be able to locate it with a dowsing rod or gamma ray detector. 

One special line of products we will be rolling out this weekend will be the IBRC Beastiopathic Essences(TM) . Using the newly discovered phenomenon of "Beastiopathic Resonance(TM)" these amazing preparations "put the power of totemic woodland creatures in a convenient nasal spray." Available in Raccoon, Squirrel, Blue Jay, Bobcat, Skunk and many others. This stuff is to homeopathy what a trip to the moon is to the Wright brothers.