Saturday March 2nd Idyll-Beast sighting

 Members of Girl Scout troop 561 reported an unusual encounter at their cookie sale table in front of the Idyllwild Inn. Talk about meeting new customers…. The creature emerged from the forest and asked how many cookies he could take with the crumpled bills he produced from his shag. The young entrepreneurs calculated the Beasts “wad” to be equal in value to 6 boxes of cookies (exercising their sense of fair play) and assisted the animal in selecting an assortment of favorites (solving problems and thinking creatively.) The animal seemed to take a special interest in the peanut butter Do-si-dos and the Thin Mints, but expressed skepticism about one daring youngster’s attempt to foist “mango crèmes” off on him. “Mango crème? What kind of animal eats Mango Crèmes? Give me another box of Caramel DeLites!” The budding sales person explained that mango crèmes are filled with “NutriFusion” enhanced with nutrients from fruits, and the animal agreed to experiment. These beastettes are without a doubt learning skills and showing the confidence and team work that will serve them well in the future.

When asked what he would do with all those cookies the Idyll-Beast explained that he was going to feed people. “People feed the squirrels and blue jays for fun. I find feeding people relaxes me. If you stand completely still they come right up and take them out of your paw!”

The scouts did not allow the Beast to return into the forest without first “signing” autographs. These youngsters have definitely earned their “patches” in Cryptozoology; the Idyllwild troop is the first known to have sold cookies to a crypto-hominid.

They even invited him to join the troop. At a loss to explain to the girls why he couldn’t be a girl scout also, he suggested that maybe a Heidi Beast back at the Research Center might adopt the troop. Indeed, the Girls Scouts and the Idyll-Beast Research Center would both benefit from collaboration. We respect any group the sends small animals scurrying through the woods distributing boxes of snacks to winter-distressed villagers. They are like little saint Bernards.

Sources at the Chamber of Commerce confirm that no Chamber of Commerce funds were “embezzled” to buy the treats.

In an unrelated story, local musician David Jerome reported “probably about $30” missing from his tip jar at the end of his Saturday morning 9-12 gig at Café Aroma. “One of the servers reported a huge, shaggy, lumbering creature lurking around the jar. I’ll have to have a word with Vince Day. Enough is enough.”

I Like What I See

As many Beast watchers know, the Riverside County Fair and National Date Festival in Indio has long been a hot spot for sitings. As this year's fair came to an end, many researchers and their parents have submitted fascinating evidence. We don't know what it all means, but I believe that there is a time for analysis and a time to just step back and say "I know what I like." Whether it is composition, color balance, dynamic tension, or implied narrative, each of these images has something to offer.

 

 Maria, age 9, from Thermal California, meets the beast.

 Priscilla Gamboa sends us this portrait of her offspring making a new friend.

And Chrissy and Jasmine plan Jasmine's first vacation! (Photo courtesy grandma Edna)

Ephraim and Kat Armendariz get a little motivation to "work off" those funnel cakes. The Idyll-Beast inspires many to take up sprinting for health.

 An unidentified fair-goer makes a new friend. See you in Idyllwild, amigo!

Marta Padilla submitted this touching portrait, a quiet moment shared.

See you all at the Fair next year!

Lawsuit Update

It has been hard to get specifics regarding the purported lawsuit “Idyll-Beast vs. Delicious Strangers, John and Jane Does, Idyllwilders 1-3,000.” A search of county court records returned inconclusive results, but as they say “absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”

Stories have been overheard at the bar at Café Aroma; one defendant tried to have the case moved from “Limited Civil” (under $25,000) to Superior Court. The defendant’s reasoning was that as a Jazz musician he is of cultural value to the community, at least in the “high six figures.” According to our source the judge denied the motion, ruling that the suit was not about his value as an artist but as taco filler, and that even allowing that his “well marbled flesh” might fetch the same price as Kobe beef, this would still fall below the $25,000 thresh hold.

Other defendants are said to be taking an opposite tack, starving themselves to deprive the Beast of any nutritional value, or cause him to loose interest and drop the suit. This strategy has resulted, so we hear, in a “motion to compel” the defendants to continue eating, and, should they refuse nourishment, to be force-fed like foie gras geese.

I can state categorically that the suit was not filed by the Idyll-Beast Research Center, and the Beast himself has denied initiating any legal action. When asked, the Idyll-Beast suggested that suit was the work of  “…another animal, most likely an Attorney Vulture.” To those of you unfamiliar with this unusual scavenger allow me to quote from the Audubon guide:

“The Attorney Vulture is unique among the buzzard family in its method of hunting. Having chosen its prey from among the law-abiding denizens of the forest, the creature files a frivolous lawsuit or sham pleading in the name of a puppet plaintiff, choosing an easily confused and ostensibly indigent creature for this role. The intended victim is then forced to respond to the suit and an ensuing barrage of motions and interrogatories, dashing back and forth across the highway until, if the Attorney-Vulture is lucky, they are struck by a speeding vehicle. The Attorney Vulture can then dine at his leisure, but not before lamenting hypocritically about the dangers of the legal system and the often-calamitous effects of litigation.

Like most members of the Buzzard Family the Attorney Vulture has a bald, featherless head to facilitate gorging itself on the rotting carcasses of its prey. In keeping with the tradition of the old English barristers, however, the birds are sometimes known to sport a wig with a ponytail.

Requests

In an effort to better meet the needs of our community, the Idyll-Beast Research Center has prepared an "Official Beast-Sighting Request Form.' It is self explanatory and can be filled out by any animal with reasonable diligence. These won't guarantee a sighting, but they will greatly increase the odds.

Beginning to Look a lot like Xmas

The Idyll-Beast Research Center wishes to thank Mayor Max and his staff for their outstanding work on this year's Greater Idyllwild Tree Lighting Ceremony. We are delighted to have an animal of such vision in our midst. 

The Mayor's office has submitted this evidence from their holiday photo op. This year the Idyll-Beast happened by for a little power lunch and to talk over events of common interest. Christmas with Mayor Max is becoming a veritable carnaval of the animals. After a brief altercation over a particularly engrossing sock...

the creatures tapped out a joint statement of "peace and joy to Beasts of goodwill..."

 and obliged the staff photographer with a smile and a wag...

To "Serve" Man

More evidence of the Idyll-Beast's activity during the Halloween "Great Pumpkin" parade has come to light. It seems the Beast carried the idea of his costume, "Idyll-Beast Esquire, attorney at law" further than we had imagined. The county court has been clogged with confused respondents who believe they have been named in a lawsuit. It seems that during the parade the creature "served" other celebrants with what appears to be a lawsuit alleging "unlawful deliciousness and fraud."The Animal has been changed by his time on the Board of Directors of the Idyllwild Chamber of Commerce. As they say, "monkey see, monkey do."

Our legal team has determined that the case is probably frivolous, but to be on the safe side (ex abundanti cautela) "defendants" may bring their "summons" to the Idyll-Beast Research Center. Although not qualified to give legal advice, we know how to spot a hoax.  We reproduce below one of these documents. Click on the image to see a larger view. You may need to click again to magnify the image.

If this is what it seems to be, it would represent a change in the animal's feeding habits. The Idyll-Beast is known to be an opportunistic eater, and our society presents opportunities previously unexplored by the higher animals. Using the courts to harass prey into being eaten would seem a logical step for an omnivore.

The document seems to be missing a "proof of service" and the verification paragraph is suspect, missing a signature as it is. Trick or treat indeed. The tone is somewhat more refined and polite than that of some attorneys, and the prose more natural. Many "Delicious Idyllwilders" will be watching their mail boxes for a "Motion to Compel."

You've Been Served!

Ah, the crisp days of fall. The date of the Great Pumpkin Parade approaches and once more the Idyll-Beast is selecting a costume. The Beast has outdone himself this time in terms of pure spine-tingling horror. Although some of our staff  (and several Chamber Directors) have expressed misgivings, the animal has begun assembling the ingredients for a Halloween classic: Idyll-Beast Esquire, Attorney at Law.

Concerned Beast watchers have expressed  misgivings and brought to our attention a very real danger: if the outfit is too realistic, villagers mistaking him for an actual member of the bar might harass, disparage or hunt him. Our legal staff has formulated a solution; the back of his jacket will sport the following message:

DISCLAIMER:

This is only a costume. The Idyll-Beast is not a real attorney, nor can he give advice on legal matters. Any resemblance to actual attorneys, living or dead, is purely coincidental and no disparagement is intended.