Saturday, July 3, 2010

Beyond Belief

Some have remarked my apparent absence from the Idyll-Beast Festival Parade. I got to tell you, people, the behind the scenes work has been a little more than I bargained for. Not much time for singing and guitar playing. So that part I apologize for. And I can't complain. The parade was awesome. I observed it from my mobile parade observation center.

Frank and Connor O'Feral pulled the Idyll-Beast on a golden chariot. Frank, Cafe Aroma's (what is Italian for ubermensch?) in a loin clothe and ropes of garlic. The man has amazing pectorals. And "Slave" tattooed across his back. I never knew. Conner was dressed for golf. Lori brought the whip. And this year's Grandmother Idyll-Beast, Yong Neu, carried one end of the Festival banner (Beast Fest 2010, the Beast is Among Us,) while her granddaughter, the gifted Junior Ms Idyll-Beast, Haley Neu, distributed candy. Both of them wore furry crowns and scepters. At some point past half way, Grandma Idyll-Beast finally took charge and shooed the Beast off the Chariot so she could ride a spell. And the Beast 'aped' the Belly Dancers.

And that's just the caboose of the love train! First came Aphrodite and her mobile temple, populated by a selection of Idyllwild's goddesses (funny they did not look ancient to me; of course, they're immortal!) Then came the Tribal Rondevouz Belley Dancers. Ululating.

Later, at the Beast-Fest proper, Mother Beast (Rhonda leGate) and Little Miss Beast (Aubrey Moutin) received their tiaras and scepters. The menu included Golden Calf Sandwiches. Beast sightings occurred throughout the day, with the Village Center Shops reporting dozens of encounters. As would be expected, there were other clusters of sightings at Cafe Aroma and the Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe.

Truly, the Beast is Among Us.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Beast Briefs

*9:30 A.M Saturday July 3rd- that's the time for those who wish to gather at the Idyll-beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe at 54785 North Circle. Those who wish to participate in the parade contingent. It's easy, we'll show you how. If you or someone you know owns a fur suit, this is the day to take a long slow walk in the hot sun. Fur is optional though, all types of skin, scales, exoskeleton or feathers are welcome. The day has come when a creature will be judged not for the color, or thickness and shagginess of his or her coat, but for the Beastliness of their character.

*The Video purportedly taken by an Idyll-Beast at the June 23rd Midsummer's Night Chamber of Commerce Meeting has been much talked about but not yet publicly released. WikiLeaks is being studied as one channel for the public access to this document. Maybe the Beast was working on a documentary. Or some strange kind of voyeurism. The real news is the Video's parliamentary importance: it appears to be the only evidence of the meeting. One Director forgot to turn their personal recording device on. A reporter forgot to turn over his cassette. Only the Idyll-Beast had his device engaged. And when the Beast left (at approximately 6:55) it apparently tried to demonstrate the working of the camera to (former Chamber Mascot and present Director) Steve Moulton, but Steve just waved the creature away. The camera seemed too complicated. It has not been revealed if then-still-president-and-acting-Secretary Carlson was taking minutes of the session.

*You people are beautiful. The Beast is Lucky to have such friends. Farewell and Beastspeed!