Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Cautionary Tale

Many of you by now have heard about the closing of one of our local "watering holes" as a result of an unfortunate incident involving an Idyll-Beast. Many locals show sympathy for these creatures, allowing them to forage in dumpsters and even leaving scraps out for them. It seems patrons at Jo Ann's crossed the line, offering meals and drinks to one beast, and the creature lost much of its natural aversion to human contact. Soon yokels were inviting "Idy" in for drinks. "Bartender, a chocotini for my Furry Friend!" Ha ha. What could possibly go wrong? It turns out the one thing worse than buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast is buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast on Karaoke night. The county was not amused. Emergency response teams are very expensive. One family's adventure in Idyllwild hospitality has been cut short. And members of our community are out of work. The follies of the few beget the suffering of many.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Real Deal

At last, an image that repays serious scrutiny. Muzzle to muzzle with the unknown, these are the moments we researchers live for. In focus, great depth of field, good lighting and color balance, excellent composition. Almost painterly in its approach to subject and landscape, this image was recently taken at Inspiration point. Technical details to follow. 

OK OK already

This is not such a great picture. Eyes closed. Poor depth of field. Color lackluster. Light too bright in lower half, too dark above. Composition lackluster. Point and shoot. Very much a run-of-the-mill Beast sighting photograph. Still it's a start. Submit your Idyll-Beast sighting shots. 


The picture is worth a thousand words. We ask not what the community can do for us, but rather what we can do for Idyllwild. We have hit the ground running. Or rather loping.

We've all heard the conversation: "Why can't I find ______ in Idyllwild?" What kind of goods and services can the IBRC Museum and Gift Shoppe provide? Some folks talk about guitar strings and picks. A lovely waitress at the Famous Red Kettle mentioned a pair of tourists who decided to stay the weekend...and didn't have any clean underwear. I think we can help: we still have plenty of cruelty free synthetic Beast fur. And a needle and thread. Folks have mentioned printer ink, and officers at Hewlett Packard have apparently begun high level discussions about a deeper involvement with the promotion of the Idyll-Beast. With the demise of the General Store certain seasonal products have disappeared. A few Halloween items already grace our furry shelves. We are hard at work on Beastmas tree ornaments. What do you think? Food items, as I have mentioned below, are problematic. And the inventory can't be too pricey. And the intention is not to compete with existing so-called "real" retail establishments. These people have suffered enough.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Do I Smell a Party?

The Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe (also know colloquially as "the Cave") will open this Saturday, September 5. The address is 54875 B (as in Beast) North Circle, conveniently located between Bubba's Books and the Creek House. Beast Sightings will probably begin around 4 PM; when Aroma shuts the kitchen down between shifts the scavenging there dries up fast. The location will be impossible to miss, just look for the sign of the Idyll-Beast (you will recognize it.) Even without a map you should be able to locate it with a dowsing rod or gamma ray detector. 

One special line of products we will be rolling out this weekend will be the IBRC Beastiopathic Essences(TM) . Using the newly discovered phenomenon of "Beastiopathic Resonance(TM)" these amazing preparations "put the power of totemic woodland creatures in a convenient nasal spray." Available in Raccoon, Squirrel, Blue Jay, Bobcat, Skunk and many others. This stuff is to homeopathy what a trip to the moon is to the Wright brothers.