From the Archives of the Idyll-Beast Research Center

In the spirit of Holiday sharing, we at the Idyll-Beast Research Center have opened up our archives to "re-gift" some of the data that has come our way. Last year we interviewed long time local Pat Ladd about his experiences with our furry neighbors on the hill. His reports are real eye-openers, and advance the cause of scientific inquiry. They are presented to you un-retouched, raw material for future researchers.

Thank you Pat, and thank you Idyllwild.

Witness: Pat Ladd
Interview date: 1/5/2010
This happened 5 or 6 years ago. The first sighting was off of Fobes Ranch Road. Down the dirt road off the right-hand side, 2-3 miles in. There was a creek back there where we went to look for rocks, me and John Schroke. You can polish and sell them. We saw multiple tracks, different sizes, big and little ones. They weren’t bear and they weren’t human, they were too big. Little ones all the way up to ones too big to be human. They were fresh. We went and brought the ranger back to show him. He didn’t know what they were, no idea. John made plaster casts of them with dry-wall plaster he had in his truck. Those cast are now lost, lost in a marriage break-up thing.

A month later we came back to the same area. There are some really beautiful rocks for carving and selling there. Crystals too. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. That’s when I tapped john on the shoulder, I said:
“look over there!”
“No that’s just red shank [a kind of tree]” he says.
“No, look right there”
“Oh my God.”
We backed out of there slowly. It was not growling but sneering, showing its teeth like a dog threatening or warning. So we backed out and split, a half mile to the truck.

The next sighting happened probably 4 years ago, maybe 3 and 1/2. I was going down to Clifford Dorn’s by the Boy Scout camp. Back side of Garner Valley, over the Hill off Morris ranch Road, We were driving along and I said “Stop the truck right here.” I pointed to it and he saw it.
“That’s just a tree trunk.”
I said “Watch this!”
I got out of the truck and shook my hands and ass, and it did the same thing right back, raised its hands and shook its ass, like it was mocking me. It didn’t look angry. It just turned and walked off. It was just sunning itself watching the road, across the canyon about 200 yards away, close to the Scout camp.

Another one that happened 3 or 4 years ago, we were living on South Circle. Jeff (Harron, Harrison?) was camping out over on Strawberry Creek, by the Church Camp. One morning, sun barely up, he came pounding on the door, saying “Pat, Pat, you’re not going to believe this!”
“What?”
“A Bigfoot stole my sleeping bag!”
It shook him by the feet and he back-pedaled out of it thinking it was a bear. Then he saw it was not a bear, it was upright. Not a bear, not human, it was Bigfoot. He was pretty adamant about it.
He told other stories; one of them stole a chicken from his open fire, that same year. He heard something in the bushes. He went to his tent to get his gun… and turned to see this thing take the chicken off his fire.
He also recalled the time one of the creatures spooked a horse he was riding.

Another person that’s seen them is Old Bruce, of Val and Bruce’s market down by Mountain Center. He sells roasted nuts and beef jerky down by the highway. They broke into his store. He thought it was people and went upstairs to get his gun. It was this big hairy thing, not human, not any other animal from around here. They had lots of incidents, cabins broken into.

Clifford too has seen a lot of them. He was a trailblazer, knows every inch of the back country up here. So did I, back in the day. He’s seen whole families, groups of them.

Isn't She Lovely

Our researchers recently uncovered this treasure, a "lively portrait" of one of history's most spellbinding Idyll-Beasts, Barbara Ursler. Born in Augsburg "High Germany," she married a dutch man who "exhibited" her throughout Europe and England. Eventually she disappeared and is believed by some investigators to have escaped with Spanish explorers and made her way to the new world, eventually settling in the mountains of "Alta California." Barbara is here seen with a small pipe organ, on which she was proficient. The portrait transports us back in time. Imagine being among the select audience at one of her concerts. The grace of her figure, the wisdom of her gaze, the allure of her furry shoulders. And then the music begins....

Season's Beastings

Researcher Paul Carmen submitted this evidence from the Halloween parade. "Pope Idy the 1st" lead the children down North Circle Drive, greeting bystanders with growls that sounded like "Bless you my Beastlings" and "Deliciousness is no sin!" Apparently the Beast decided that dressing as a priest would be too scary for the youngsters and opted instead for the elegant rainments of the pontiff. And indeed, to a Beast, what could be scarier than a human who believes he's infallible?

Beast wishes

This just in from the Rocky Way Beast Cam. Idy seems to be waving. Stunning view.
It's going to be a great Halloween people, I can smell it.

Screeches and Moans? I think not.

Saw that show on cable TV, researchers out in the bog, Bogey Creek, saying they had recorded some "thing" in the night. Screeches and moans no one there could identify. Perhaps they needed a musician. Or a linguist.
Our Furensic Linguists at the Idyll-Beast Research Center are publishing credible arguments that they have translated Beast discourse. Technical discussions about weather, climate, foraging, human activities, and of course, aromas.

Here are some of the findings:

Human Scientists call themselves Homo Sapiens Sapiens. Like we didn’t get the part about “smart” so we had to be told twice. If the Beasts had been consulted other names might have been put forward. “We could have lent a hand… oh, I’m sorry, animals don’t have hands.”
Some creatures use Homo Trespassus, Man that Goes Where He Is Not Wanted. Or man that knows he is always trespassing because he puts up so many fences.
There is the more blunt Homo Homicidis. Man the Man Killer. Ouch. “Old kill joy” is one you hear from time to time. And Homo Megalmaniacus. Man the Big Headed.
Most creatures polled consider “Homo Habilis” acceptable. “We got to hand it to you people, you really do know how to do things. Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t really have hands.”

Then there are discussions of the aroma of humans. Dogs definitely pro, foxes and deer and most other creatures not so much. “It depends on what they’ve been eating,” say others. And all those chemicals humans use to disguise their aromas. “P.U.” “If they just ate sensibly they wouldn’t need deodarant.”

One thing predators, herbivores and even scavengers agree upon: "Life is delicious."

Beasts do get steamed up about certain human expressions, especially our use of words like “beastly” and “brutal” to describe behavior more distinctly human than animal. Words like “animalistic,” movies like “Animal House.” Meaning bad behaviour.
Animals are sometimes cruel to one another (especially in captivity) but most only kill for eating purposes.
“Blame it on us, guys.”
“The Humane society, the place where they euthanize animals. We get that.”

The other apes are unimpressed by our efforts at political organization. “With us the shrieking dies down from time to time. Those people just never stop!”


One thing most Beasts take issue with is the so-called “Doctrine of Human Exceptionalism.” What exactly is so unique about you humans? Smarter? Maybe. But smart is as smart does.
Language? Most all animals (and members of the plant kingdom as well) are conducting ongoing experiments in the field. Male frogs found out a long time ago what kind of talk lady frogs like to hear. Eureka. Trees send chemicals around, warnings about pests and such.
Human writing? Well, most of it isn’t that good. And they say that if you give enough monkeys type writers you’ll find a Shakespeare. But you would need a lot of monkeys, and most monkeys have better things to do with their time than sitting in front of a typewriter all day.
Tools? Who are you calling tools? Chimps can do a bit of tool making. Birds too. Many animals are like living Swiss-Army Knives. The Platypus. It’s got that beak, those claws, that spiny fur. Lays eggs too. Beauty and utility.
But there’s not much time for engineering when those other beasts are so attractive. Animals are somewhat concerned about our pro-creation, however. “They’re so ugly, how can they even stand to do that. Face to face even.”


It’s hard to know whether they aren’t sometimes pulling our legs.
“Apes against evolution” is a group threatening pickets of school board meetings.
“The claim that humans descended from the higher apes is insulting nonsense,” say the primates. “We want our day in court!”

Evidence

These are the photographs from Ms. Sanguinetti's camera, referred to in an earlier post. These images are unretouched except for color correction to soften the effect of the flash on skin and fur tones. Science marches forward.