Monday, August 31, 2009
The IDYLL-BEAST RESEARCH CENTER Museum and Gift Shop and Beast Cove Petting Zoo will open it's doors to the public this Saturday, September 5th, 2009. Several of the Girls from Menifee have volunteered for the petting zoo. I'm measuring the Docents for their uniforms. They will be lovely. Live Entertainment! Beast Sightings! A dream come true. A place for the rest of us, something that addresses our needs as a community, that takes up where the Idyllwild Historical Society leaves off. It has been a learning experience. Every business owner understands that "jumping through hoops" is not just for circus animals. It seems the county had a thing or two to say about sales of "Beast-Berry Pies" and "Vegetarian cruelty-free Beast Jerky." Maybe another business can help us move this now somewhat problematic inventory. But those boxes of "Idyll-Beast Festival Commemorative Merkins" that arrived a few days late for the Festival will finally find a home. Not too early to start thinking about X-mas.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Our Researchers recently encountered this image of a furry harpsichordist from a 17th century German woodcut. Proving that the Beasts are not only attracted to fretted strings and percussion. In the old days "Heidi Beasts" were often trained at the clavier or violin, opening a dignified career path outside the exploitation of circuses.
The staff of the Idyll-Beast Research Center proudly announce the GRAND OPENING of the IDYLL-BEAST RESEARCH CENTER MUSEUM AND GIFT SHOP this labor day weekend at a still undisclosed location along North Circle Drive. Wow. There is still a lot to do. The petting zoo part is giving the most headaches. We should have the new "Idyll-Beast Board Game" available then. "Researchers and Idyll-Beasts race around a map of old Idyllwild, leaving and gathering evidence, searching for love, fame and beast-berry pies. Ages 8 to Adult." Beast sightings will be extremely likely Saturday afternoon. In the meantime the new shirts, in all sizes to XXXL and ladies' styles are available at Bubba's Books.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The Idyll-Beast Research Center has begun creating an on-line archive of Idyll-Beast sightings. It is available at www.idyllbeast.com/sightings.html. We will begin posting sightings from the crypto-zoological cyber-community in addition to local submissions. Please send any sightings to email@example.com. These will be treated confidentially and your name withheld on request.
Hopefully the website will help with the most daunting challenge yet undertaken by the Idyll-Beast Research Center: the translation (from "Beast-Latin") of the so called "Prophecies of Beastradamus." Many mentions of a "village in the pines" seem to resonate curiously with current events. But I admit to being stumped by references to the nearby "City of Saint Hyacinth" and their rulers. And an inscrutable reference to a "one hundred and fifty-five count indictment" (if I am translating correctly) and the "fall of four in five." All this to happen in "the year of the Idyll-Beast." I personally am sceptical of the whole category of prophecy, but continue on the translations for historical and literary reasons.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
It has come to my attention that another blogger (Conor O'Farrell of "Frank & Conor's Bad Advice in the Morning") has compared me to the late self-styled Grizzly Bear "expert" and bear snack Timothy Treadwell, suggesting that I too could be a meal in the making. I'd like to take this opportunity to clear up a misunderstanding. Although many people have been attacked by bears and an average of 2.25 people per year have been killed in the U.S. by bears during the last decade, no one has ever been reported killed or eaten by an Idyll-Beast. They seem to have discriminating palates. Although there are reports of kidnappings, rescues are more frequent, with the Beasts allegedly carrying accident victims or fallen climbers to relative safety. As Director of the Idyll-Beast Research Center, part of my mission is to educate the public about these little known creatures. In the unlikely event of my being attacked I promise to do my best to video tape the event, and would be happy to allow Conor to narrate the footage. It is not my intention to harass wildlife, nor do I reccomend that others do so.