Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Do I Smell Bacon?

Readers of all political stripes (and spots) have been outraged by recent revelations of excess and debauchery by members of the Federal Government’s General Services Agency. Almost a million dollars was spent on one “motivational seminar” in Las Vegas, and officials who organized this little shindig took nine so called “planning trips” to Vegas before the main event. The travel and catering costs for the planning phase alone totaled over $136,000. One investigator, staggered by the scope of this “culture of fraud, waste and corruption,” was quoted as saying “every time we turn over a rock, there are fifty more with all kinds of things crawling out.” Sounds like spring-time in my back yard.

We at the Idyll-Beast Research Center have been quick to spot the silver lining in this cloud of corruption, bribery and kickbacks. This week we sent off a huge package of brochures from local inns, restaurants, shops, day spas and pet grooming services, along with an effusive cover letter offering the services of the Chamber of Commerce as “Event Planning Consultants,” addressed to the General Service Agency’s Department of Wretched Excess and Unseemly Frolic. I bought the stamp myself.

What happens in Vegas no longer stays in Vegas, but Idyllwild… We have a crypto-hominid serving on the Board of Directors of our Local Chamber of Commerce, yet the tabloids leave us alone. This is just the kind of place where beastly hi-jinx will be ignored. And think how much further our tax dollars will go here!

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