Bebriefing

 With the close of the Mueller investigation and the delivery of the Special Prosecuotor's report to the Attorney General, we here in Idyllwilid have been expecting the release of the Idyll-Beast from service as Grand Jury Witness Emotional Support Animals.  And sure enough, a phone call came, and I had a trip to the airport to make, a trip Idyllwilders will know is now substantially longer due to weather damage to our local highways. The flight was a Red-Eye and would arrive before dawn.

     My first impression upon seeing Idy was that he had gained weight. The life of a Grand Jury  Witness Emotional Support Animal is not as glamorous as it may sound. The Beast was housed in an outside-the-beltway Motel 6, and lived on deliveries of fast food and the snacks that the prosecutor's team keep in their brief cases. Only a thorough examination will reveal the truth of the rumor that he also ate a "target" of the investigation. He is still unable to comment on Grand Jury proceedings, and the Idyll-Beast is a monster of discretion. We at the Research Center will be raking through the evidence for any "individual number two."

     I waited a moment, expecting Heidi to join Idy. He looked at me quizzically. "Where's Heidi?" I asked. He shifted his eyes and began making the mumbling/growling sound an Idyll-Beast makes when he or she is feigning the inability to produce articulate speech. "Come on Idy, is she here or not? Is she OK?"

     Idy seemed at last to find the right words. "Heidi is... continuing robustly. She's fine.  Not here..." I was perplexed. "The Investigation is over, right? She can't still be working for the Grand Jury?  The report... the no more indictments thing..." Idy interrupted me. "If I told you, I'd have to eat you." He waited a beat and made a sort of furry chuckle.

      I knew that there are many things a Grand Jury Witness Emotional Support Animal can never discuss, at least while proceedings are "under seal." The Beast had no luggage. We continued on to the car. As he eased himself into the passenger seat I sensed a weariness I had not observed before. I asked him how things had gone. He looked at me and paused, weighing his words carefully. He leaned towards me confidentially. Of his time in our nation's capitol he would only say: "What a Zoo!"

Jury Duty

 With activity picking up in the chambers of the Grand Jury in the nation's capitol, staff are receiving enthusiastic responses from clients of our new service, Idyll-Beast Research Center Witness Protection Emotional Support Animals. Idyll-Beast are available now to accompany nervous witnesses to grand jury proceedings, both locally and in Washington D.C. 

 It seems that many witnesses presently being called to testify before the various Grand Juries have lost the knack of truth telling. They have become so accustomed to being rewarded for "stretching" the truth, or even letting loose with transparent fabrications, that they are uncertain how to proceed in an environment where straying from the facts could lead to jail time, and where truthfully testifying could implicate treasoners, perjurers, money launderers, and even dog stealers.  With many witness protection emotional support animals hiding under beds or even developing symptoms requiring that the animals themselves  be accompanied by emotional support animals, the Idyll-Beast has stepped into the breach. 

  Witnesses are finding that being able to rest a hand on a warm furry head and to glance from time to time into liquid, reassuring eyes, smooths their racing heartbeats, making it a little easier to tell sometimes difficult truths. Although not allowed to coach witnesses, the Beast is allowed to "encourage" them with occasional murmurs of "'Atta boy!" and "Who's a good witness?"

  If you are presently a cooperating witness or just need a little help to start cooperating, even if the targets of the investigation have threatened to harm or "take" your usual comfort or emotional support animal, contact us now. All communications will be considered privileged and absolute confidentiality is a hallmark of all services the Research Center provides.

This Week at the Idyll-Beast Research Center

The marvelous reality that is the Idyll-Beast Research Center. The place where the science and magic happen. Comfort and utility. 
So many stories to stay on top of in the news. Here are the top items:

Reporters on the legal beat are staking out a San Bernardino court room waiting for the next shoe to drop in the case that has been keeping court watchers, cryptozooligists and crypto enthusiasts up nights. When will the plaintiff refile? If the allegations in the first complaint are true, there is a crisis in our forests, bigfoot sightings being wrongly dismissed as "bears,"  thus leaving visitors in peril of a new kind of American Carnage. This story may end up shaping how the new governor's term is remembered, and the state's response  to the pleadings will likely be read and re-read by students of law and crypto-zoology for generation to come. Check this site frequently for updates.