The following is a Legally Mandated Public Notice pursuant to a Court Order

The Directors of the Idyll-Beast Research Center and its Museum and Gift Shoppe sadly announce the dissolution of our financial services company, Beastie Mac. All Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe "Beast Buy" credit cards are hereby and immediately canceled, and all balances forgiven.

Our apologies go out to those members of the public who were terrorized by over-zealous docents attempting to turn every transaction into a new pre-approved credit card account. And that small print, not even we knew what it said.

The one service to survive the wreckage is our "Idyll-Beast and Associates Collection Agency." In these difficult times our unconventional methods could be just the thing to turn your accounts receivables into cash. Contact us for more details at:

idyllbeastresearchcenter@yahoo.com.

Prophecy?

As I have stated earlier, I am personally a sceptic in matters of "prophecy." I have mentioned my work on the quatrains or so called "Prophecies of Beastradamus," and my purely scholarly and literary interest in this curious, even eccentric document. So I admit to a moment of chagrin when I turned on the radio today to hear about the local "shake up" in San Jacinto's city government. I invite the gentle reader to refer to my August 5th posting, "IBRC Archives," in particular the part dealing with the Beastradamus project. I mentioned a quatrain, which when translated in full reads:

"In the city of Saint Hyacinth leaders reel

In the Year of the Idyll-Beast

four in five are named in a

one-hundred-fifty-five count indictment involving money laundering and bribery."

I know it's not great poetry, and it loses something in translation, but you can't make this stuff up. I am starting to think there could be something to the rantings of the furry seer.

Beast Wishes

DJ

New Converts

Although it is never our intention to prosletyze, the Idyll-Beast Research Center's community outreach effort has lead many to embrace the Beast. Halloween was a special opportunity to meet and greet the younger generation.

I was honored to be invited this week to participate in a colloquium at Astro Camp, that other Scientific Organization on the hill. Those people really love science. And root beer schnapps. It was a relaxed yet scientifically rigorous evening of highbrow infotainment. We look forward to future exchanges. Much interest was expressed in the upcoming translation of the so-called "Prophecies of Beastradamus." This project has taken much of my time lately, but will be of interest to Idyllwilders, especially the credulous ones. Many uncanny references to a strangely familiar "village in the pines."

What's New at the Idyll-Beast Research Center

Last week I was shocked to be asked by local eminence grisé Hubert Halkin "Is there really an Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe?" People, skepticism is healthy, and I know some folks never venture North of Cafe Aroma, but the IBRC Museum and Gift Shoppe is as real as any other business in Idyllwild. Maybe not as profitable, but just swing by 54875 B North Circle and see for yourselves. Doubting Thomases. Having established the reality of the shoppe, I then am asked what exactly we do there. Harder to answer. Well, last week we:

*Repaired furniture for customers,

*Sold some tee shirts and halloween costumes (available for children and pets)

*Took orders for Beastiopathic Remedies and "Calling All Idyll-Beasts" Sacred Space Clearing Spray (Christmas is coming),

*Educated legions of tourists,

*Assembled our first IBRC "Li'l Researcher Adventure Play Sets,"

*Met many curious and supportive business owners and community members.

*Negotiated image rights for the new IBRC postcards. A real asset to the community.

*Developed curricula for our new continuing education series. In these times many of us are investing in new skills. Our "Dumpster Diving 101" sections are filling up fast.

MEDICAL NEWS: Back at the Research Center proper, our scientists are working overtime to insure a plentiful supply of the new H1B1 "Beast flu" vaccine. Dr. Idyllbeast himself will be performing the innoculations at the Museum. Parents bring your children.

And people, if you are new to the Blog, please read the posts from previous months. Much valuable information is available there.

A Cautionary Tale

Many of you by now have heard about the closing of one of our local "watering holes" as a result of an unfortunate incident involving an Idyll-Beast. Many locals show sympathy for these creatures, allowing them to forage in dumpsters and even leaving scraps out for them. It seems patrons at Jo Ann's crossed the line, offering meals and drinks to one beast, and the creature lost much of its natural aversion to human contact. Soon yokels were inviting "Idy" in for drinks. "Bartender, a chocotini for my Furry Friend!" Ha ha. What could possibly go wrong? It turns out the one thing worse than buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast is buying liquor for an Idyll-Beast on Karaoke night. The county was not amused. Emergency response teams are very expensive. One family's adventure in Idyllwild hospitality has been cut short. And members of our community are out of work. The follies of the few beget the suffering of many.

The Real Deal

At last, an image that repays serious scrutiny. Muzzle to muzzle with the unknown, these are the moments we researchers live for. In focus, great depth of field, good lighting and color balance, excellent composition. Almost painterly in its approach to subject and landscape, this image was recently taken at Inspiration point. Technical details to follow. 

OK OK already

This is not such a great picture. Eyes closed. Poor depth of field. Color lackluster. Light too bright in lower half, too dark above. Composition lackluster. Point and shoot. Very much a run-of-the-mill Beast sighting photograph. Still it's a start. Submit your Idyll-Beast sighting shots. 

A DREAM COME TRUE

The picture is worth a thousand words. We ask not what the community can do for us, but rather what we can do for Idyllwild. We have hit the ground running. Or rather loping.

We've all heard the conversation: "Why can't I find ______ in Idyllwild?" What kind of goods and services can the IBRC Museum and Gift Shoppe provide? Some folks talk about guitar strings and picks. A lovely waitress at the Famous Red Kettle mentioned a pair of tourists who decided to stay the weekend...and didn't have any clean underwear. I think we can help: we still have plenty of cruelty free synthetic Beast fur. And a needle and thread. Folks have mentioned printer ink, and officers at Hewlett Packard have apparently begun high level discussions about a deeper involvement with the promotion of the Idyll-Beast. With the demise of the General Store certain seasonal products have disappeared. A few Halloween items already grace our furry shelves. We are hard at work on Beastmas tree ornaments. What do you think? Food items, as I have mentioned below, are problematic. And the inventory can't be too pricey. And the intention is not to compete with existing so-called "real" retail establishments. These people have suffered enough.

Do I Smell a Party?

The Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shoppe (also know colloquially as "the Cave") will open this Saturday, September 5. The address is 54875 B (as in Beast) North Circle, conveniently located between Bubba's Books and the Creek House. Beast Sightings will probably begin around 4 PM; when Aroma shuts the kitchen down between shifts the scavenging there dries up fast. The location will be impossible to miss, just look for the sign of the Idyll-Beast (you will recognize it.) Even without a map you should be able to locate it with a dowsing rod or gamma ray detector. 

One special line of products we will be rolling out this weekend will be the IBRC Beastiopathic Essences(TM) . Using the newly discovered phenomenon of "Beastiopathic Resonance(TM)" these amazing preparations "put the power of totemic woodland creatures in a convenient nasal spray." Available in Raccoon, Squirrel, Blue Jay, Bobcat, Skunk and many others. This stuff is to homeopathy what a trip to the moon is to the Wright brothers.

GRAND OPENING

The IDYLL-BEAST RESEARCH CENTER  Museum and Gift Shop and Beast Cove Petting Zoo will open it's doors to the public this Saturday, September 5th, 2009. Several of the Girls from Menifee have volunteered for the petting zoo. I'm measuring the Docents for their uniforms. They will be lovely. Live Entertainment! Beast Sightings! A dream come true. A place for the rest of us, something that addresses our needs as a community, that takes up where the Idyllwild Historical Society leaves off. It has been a learning experience. Every business owner understands that "jumping through hoops" is not just for circus animals. It seems the county had a thing or two to say about sales of "Beast-Berry Pies" and "Vegetarian cruelty-free Beast Jerky." Maybe another business can help us move this now somewhat problematic inventory.  But those boxes of "Idyll-Beast Festival Commemorative Merkins" that arrived a few days late for the Festival will finally find a home. Not too early to start thinking about X-mas.

Live Entertainment

Our Researchers recently encountered this image of a furry harpsichordist from a 17th century German woodcut. Proving that the Beasts are not only attracted to fretted strings and percussion. In the old days "Heidi Beasts" were often trained at the clavier or violin, opening a dignified career path outside the exploitation of circuses.

Idyll-Beast Research Center Museum and Gift Shop

The staff of the Idyll-Beast Research Center proudly announce the GRAND OPENING of the IDYLL-BEAST RESEARCH CENTER MUSEUM AND GIFT SHOP this labor day weekend at a still undisclosed location along North Circle Drive. Wow.  There is still a lot to do. The petting zoo part is giving the most headaches. We should have the new "Idyll-Beast Board Game" available then. "Researchers and Idyll-Beasts race around a map of old Idyllwild, leaving and gathering evidence, searching for love, fame and beast-berry pies. Ages 8 to Adult." Beast sightings will be extremely likely Saturday afternoon. In the meantime the new shirts, in all sizes to XXXL and ladies' styles are available at Bubba's Books.

IBRC Archives

The Idyll-Beast Research Center has begun creating an on-line archive of Idyll-Beast sightings. It is available at www.idyllbeast.com/sightings.html. We will begin posting sightings from the crypto-zoological cyber-community in addition to local submissions. Please send any sightings to idyllbeastresearchcenter@yahoo.com. These will be treated confidentially and your name withheld on request.

Hopefully the website will help with the most daunting challenge yet undertaken by the Idyll-Beast Research Center: the translation (from "Beast-Latin") of the so called "Prophecies of Beastradamus." Many mentions of a "village in the pines" seem to resonate curiously with current events. But I admit to being stumped by references to the nearby "City of Saint Hyacinth" and their rulers. And an inscrutable reference to a "one hundred and fifty-five count indictment" (if I am translating correctly) and the "fall of four in five." All this to happen in "the year of the Idyll-Beast." I personally am sceptical of the whole category of prophecy, but continue on the translations for historical and literary reasons.

Just the Facts

It has come to my attention that another blogger (Conor O'Farrell of "Frank & Conor's Bad Advice in the Morning") has compared me to the late self-styled Grizzly Bear "expert" and bear snack Timothy Treadwell, suggesting that I too could be a meal in the making.  I'd like to take this opportunity to clear up a misunderstanding. Although many people have been attacked by bears and an average of 2.25 people per year have been killed in the U.S. by bears during the last decade, no one has ever been reported killed or eaten by an Idyll-Beast.  They seem to have discriminating palates.  Although there are reports of kidnappings, rescues are more frequent, with the Beasts allegedly carrying accident victims or fallen climbers to relative safety.  As Director of the Idyll-Beast Research Center, part of my mission is to educate the public about these little known creatures.  In the unlikely event of my being attacked I promise to do my best to video tape the event, and would be happy to allow Conor to narrate the footage.  It is not my intention to harass wildlife, nor do I reccomend that others do so.

Idyllwild's latest Vacation Adventure Destination

Many noticed that the picture of the Idyll-Beast Festival parade contingent in the July 6 TC was directly opposite a story titled "Business Climate Shows Improvement." Coincidence? I think not. I would like to draw the gentle reader's attention to several exciting new businesses that now grace our community or soon will. 

Beast Cove Petting Zoo: Straight out of old Idyllwild. Many unusual animals. Skunks, Skinks, Squonks, Porcupines, Porcubears, Zephyrs, Jackalopes, Raccoons, Bobcats, Badgers. Uruburu. Hoop snakes, Hugags, Hodags, Procks, Gowrows, Hidebehinds, Wampus Cats, Splinter Cats, many more! All of our creatures are fully inoculated against human borne contagious diseases and have access to our state-of-the-art paw washing station. Visit also our Rattlesnake Farm and Gift shop. Say it with Snakes!

Rodent Ranch: Bring your little wranglers and rough riders to Rodent Ranch, Home of the Rodent Rodeo. Riding and Roping lessons.  Join the Rodent Round-up!

Cougar Country Safari: Idyllwild’s latest vacation adventure destination. An unforgettable foray into a forest full of ferocious felines. Careful, you could be their next meal!

And just wait until the Idyll-Beast Museum and Gift Shop Opens it's doors! Still a few issues with the county...

Sighting!

People ask, "Is Idyll-Beast apparel real?" Just as each season the earth brings forth it's bounty, so the Idyll-Beast Research Center does it's part to beautify our little corner of the world. Though you people are already beastly beautiful. I welcome your input. What kinds of Beast swag would help you get in the spirit? Beastmas is (always) just around the corner! For more info e-mail me at idyllbeastresearchcenter@yahoo.com. And don't forget to visit idyllbeast.com.

Beast Wear Inquiries

I love you. There are still a limited quantity of Idyll-Beast Festival Tees available, medium, one large. I am at Aroma Saturdays 9 to noon, but will also deliver them. There is a new design in the works which will be very similar but will say "Idyllwild California" and "Home of the Idyll-Beast." The back will bear a new inspirational message, perhaps "the Beast is On the Move." These will take at least a week and will be available in the popular X, XX and XXX sizes for the Beast's "big" fans. And maybe onesies for the little researchers. Yes, Virginia, there is an Idyll-Beast. E-mail inquiries and comments to idyllbeastresearchcenter@yahoo.com.

Disambiguation

There seems to be some confusion (what else is new) about the IBRC. The Idyll-Beast Research Center is not affiliated in any way with the local "Church of Beastiology," although some of our interns may attend services. Furthermore, the "Church of Beastiology" should not be confounded with the Anza-based "Church of Beastiality." The less said the better.
A word about nomenclature. Many local wags have taken to addressing me as "Beast Man" when our paths cross. No problem there, but folks should know the preferred term in this day and age is "Man Beast." Also always acceptable is the gender-neutral "Human Beast."
Beast Wishes
DJ

Apparel

Folks keep asking about Idyll-Beast tees in xxx large and bigger. And ladies' styles, something light and alluring for the summer months. And "onesies" for the little researchers out there. Yes, a new design is in the works, but don't worry, it won't stray too far from the classic Beast apparel we know and love. The official Idyll-Beast Research Center action wear is always in style. It's the next best thing to fur!

Cyber-Beast

It is truly gratifying to see the support out there for science, the interest in our research mission. Just google idyll-beast (idyllbeast) and check it out. Radio stations, native american news websites, Big Foot forums, everybody is talking. That BF forum is really heating up. We welcome a spirited discussion of the evidence. Next stop Wikipedia... any wiki-ers out there? Unfortunately the Idyll-Beast still seems to be locally blocked. The site is up and running and visible everywhere else in the world... We here at the Idyll-Beast Research Center know enough to avoid the siren song of paranoia (right now I am blogging while tied to the refrigerator) but a number of possibilities suggest themselves:

1. Cal-trans, for all those Idyll-Beast X-ing signs popping up along the highway;
   
2. The FDA, for those bottles of "Professor Idyllbeast's Elixer and Fur Tonic" (still a few of those left here at the Research Center);
3. the forest Service, for those infomational brochures (Idyll Beast: Myth or Monster?);
   
4. the Governors office for that press release that apparently has been hushed up. The Governor is apparently back in Sacramento and has become mum about the whole thing.
   

Devotees of the Beast are advised to use a proxyserver to access the IBRC's site. It's free and easy. One that works is available here. You type in the www.idyllbeast.com address in the bar and avoid the evil-doers who would block your access to this informative and entertaining site.

I'm sure our local ISP will sort this out super fast. I called Jeff today. Wait a minute, Jeff...

Beast Wishes

DJ

Literary Event: the Legend of the Idyll-Beast available for a new generation!

New! Our reconstruction of that once-banned literary classic, The Legend of the Idyll-Beast! Excellent bed time reading, no Beastmas celebration would be complete without this! Generations of children have pulled the blankets up to their noses when mama or papa gets to the part about the Realtors... The full story is now at www.idyllbeast.com/legend.html. (if it doesn't load re-check in 24 hours. Traffic has been heavy after the Governors press conference, and their may be cyber saboteurs at work. Don't let the terrorists win!)

Also in the Works: the Idyll-Beast Film Festival

Between classics and local submissions material will not be and issue. The appropriate venue?Several come to mind.  Greta Garbo said it best (at an early screening of Cocteau's La Belle et la Bête, when the beast was dissapointingly transformed into a "handsome" prince) : "Give me Back my Beast!"

The Controversy is Heating up

Folks on the Bigfoot Forum are digging into Marshall's TC Idyll-Beast story. Amazing how people either don't read or misinterpret the article they are criticizing. The doubting Thomas on this post seems very confused. Nothing in Marshall's article or the original article being discussed mentions "hairy dancing naked BF youths" (sic). To be charitable, the "hey wierdos, drop dead!" quote was not directly attributed to a Chamber of Commerce member but an illustrative paraphrase in the original article, transformed in the recent story. From a literary point of view a direct quote sounds so much stronger, and why bother the reader with nested quotation marks?  All extremely instructive... The lesson here is that even intelligent people are bound to err when they argue about material they have not seen but base their discussion on re-reporting. (I have posted the original article, titled "beast hassle" at: www. idyllbeast.com/beasthassle.jpg) 

Until next time may the Beast be with You!

DJ

Idyll-Beast Research Center web presence

More for the Beast-Curious at www.idyllbeast.com! New links to the Cryptozoological community as our own Idyll-Beast receives some much deserved attention.

Beast-Fest Success!

Beast-fest ’09,  “Idyllwild’s 98^th Annual Idyll-Beast Festival,” was a “Resounding Success.” The outpouring of curiosity and love from the community and the many visitors was astounding. The town was abuzz as people gathered to express their belief in the continuity of life, our kinship with the other fur-bearers. The various “Misses” Idyll-Beast were, as they should be, beautiful and strong, fine examples of the furry flower of Idyllwild femininity. Many a happy participant carried home a bottle of “Professor Idyllbeast’s Elixer and Fur Tonic” and/or an Official Idyll-Beast Festival Tee-Shirt. (A few of these are still available, in medium only) The Beast himself was kind enough to make a few brief but much remarked appearances and even join in a little parade tom-foolery. (You don’t think a box like that could hold an unwilling Idyll-Beast?)  He did a bit of a jig as friends of the beast Sandi Castleberry and John Penn (author of the immortal song “Sasquatch”) finished up their set, and that might have been Paul Carmen who joined the Beast for a few capers. We here at the Idyll-Beast Research Center had a lot of vacuuming to do after the post-Festival party. Most of the fur is gone now and all we can say is: “only 358 days ‘till the 99^th Annual Idyll-Beast Festival!”